Lover Of Lies

I like my lovers raw.

Men touched too harshly

and left too lonely.

I like my friends silent

inside the loudness that they scream at me.

I want

my man

with me

still

even though he's gone.

I want the touch

-indescribable-

so don't ask me to write it here.

I want silence.

God damned silence

from all of these voices

of reason

pointing at me

like forefingers of righteous killers

desiring me to be something other then what I am.

These voices

against my raw men

pity

and

play with me.

I'm just a girl after all

strong

tough as nails

but I can still fall

shout

and lash out when I'm hurt.

I like my lovers raw

against my touch

like silk

impediments

of my pen

on paper.

I want this

all things

and everything

to say that I've lived it.

I've done it.

I know what its all about.

I want his face

their faces

out of my mind forever.

I want my Spanish lips loving me again.

I want him

not them.

I want the way that I felt in his arms

smooth

and new against my baby flesh

I wanted

his kisses

so untainted

so exact.

I hate the endless kiss of lies

and destruction that those others kissed me with.

Their touch

of never ending

lack-there-of's

and I

myself

meant to make up the difference.

Do you want my body emptied?

Bled dry tonight

against the stars

and the moon

as though I were a priestess

exiling my demons

just to exalt myself to a higher wave of condition.

I like my lovers raw

but I have no one tonight

while I

sliver

and

sweep the lies out of my hair.

Those subjects

away from my eyes.

Their ways of destroying me

gone from my body.