Golden Pillar
no one to dress up for any more,
no friends left to be defended;
abandoned by the past -
no strength to fight the future.
the world has been destroyed,
and never could I save it;
so many places I'd rather be
that no longer do exist,
save for in memories I treasure
even though they're all imagined.
no one ever came to an agreement
but agreed to keep the conflict;
I'm the lonely golden pillar
in the middle of the war,
being shot at from all sides
for remaining adamantly neutral.
leaning as I fall
in favor of the greater side,
but still so far away
from all the people I have loved.
and that will be the tragic casualty
of obstinately having hope
and never once believing
that this violence came of hate;
but rather from the depths
of hearts that cannot speak,
lips that only utter lies,
and eyes that can deceive.
and fallen, broken, dying,
I turn my gaze up to the sky
and see the ever-fading blue
that the sunshine took for granted,
and freedom I never knew
because I placed the tether 'round my neck
from the moment that I loved;
blind to what I suffered,
always adding to my bonds,
never finding happiness
in hope that others might find their own;
letting my heart get wrenched apart
for the sake of someone else's smile
that never shone on me.
for I have loved and I have lost,
but never did I dream
that I must stand by idly
and watch my friends destroy themselves
for the sake of their own aims
when I would gladly give myself for them,
if it meant they would find peace.
but useless as I've always been,
I listen and do nothing more
than let the unseen tears of mine
trickle down and vainly water
the broken, ugly ground.

TMK 9/1/04