Dear Diary. 5th June.

Summer cannot be described properly by any writer or poet because every person sees it differently. I myself think summer is the best because, Well no school, nice weather(most of the time) and a chance to wear skimpy clothes and show off your body to any particular guy you fancy.

My earliest memory of summer is me sitting in a pathetic patio chair Out in the garden of my old house, watching my little sister Joni trying to catch a butterfly. I was eight and she was four and we were both in matching yellow swimsuits.

The weather was gorgeous and I remember my mam giving us ice cream as she smiled and patted us on our heads.

I was so young that I didn't notice how sick she looked. She was my mam, she was perfect. Sometimes I don't like looking back because at least she seemed fine then. Now I go to see her everyday in the hospital and I have for the past two years.

Joni comes sometimes but she's usually too caught up in her life to come. She'd just turned thirteen and it was awful. I'd watched her be so horrible to dad and wondered had I ever been that much of a bitch. Now I was sixteen and had gone through getting my period and kissing boys and everything girls do that they try and hide from their mothers.

Rachel McVay from my maths class once said to me that I was so lucky to not have a mam around to bug me about going out in that short skirt and other shit like that. When she said the I had a number of thoughts about hitting her mam with a bus and seeing what she thought about it.

Dad tried so hard to be cool about everything, he let Joni and I have sleepovers constantly and bought us everything we wanted, trying to make up for that fucked up part of our lives.

When dad wasn't at work, he worked as an accountant, somewhere, he was at mam's bedside praying that one day she'd wake up.

I remember the day it all happened; I was lying across my bed, just like I am now, and Joni just screamed. I ran downstairs to see what was wrong and I saw my mother, lying there on the couch. Joni was suddenly hugging me and we were both staring at our mother wondering if she was still alive. I remember the hospital; I remember seeing my dad cry, I remember him then telling me later that mam had had a brain seizure and had gone into a coma. I remember telling Joni everything would be fine and mam would be back home soon, even though as I hugged her, I cried secretly into her shoulder knowing I had no guarantee that was true.

Sarah is calling over to me later, to drag me out and wander the streets for this Thursday night and maybe end up in a certain Aidan Burke's house.

I have to get up off my lazy ass, get dressed(as sluttish as possible) and try correct the errors that are all over my face. If that's even possible.

Aidan I such a good kisser, I can't believe I only know him two weeks, well like I knew him before but not knew him knew him.

Sarah Colgan is my best friend and I love her so much!

She's so funny when she's drunk, she's been with me through everything with my mam, we've been friends since we were both four.

I feel so tired and I don't want to get into a skirt and halter neck and show off my horrible body next to Sarah who looks like a duplicate of Tara Reid with brown hair. Sarah's going to embarrass me, as usual, by asking Aidan to go out with me or something stupid. Or else she'll get me drunk and make me ask him myself while she's off with Ian Hurley, her honey bunny, playing bump bump. Oh god I can hear Joni yelling up the stairs that Sarah's at the door. Better go! Talk later!

Oh my god you'll never believe what happened. I ended up kissing Aidan a lot! Right now I'm sitting on Sarah's bed, no I'm not a lesbian, it's about two in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm actually lying across her bed writing this, with my body facing her TV that has Sex and the city on it.

Anyway when we went out, I was all sluttish and all, we met up with Aidan and Ian outside the chipper (Borza) and Aidan wouldn't stop grabbing my ass, it was funny! We went up to Ian's house up by 'the Blackie 'and we just went inside and had a couple of drinks. Sarah and Ian shared a two litre bottle of peach schnapps between them and I mean literally shared every mouthful between both of their mouth's.

I felt really stupid and naïve because every time Aidan even brushed against my hand, I was all hyper. I feel so, I don't know, I can't explain it! Hope Sarah's okay. When she gets drunk like that, she'd let Ian screw her up against the wall of 'the Blackie'( the black dawn, the local bar).

Ian and her had been together for about three months and I suppose they're cute but well, I hope Sarah doesn't read this, Ian comes on to everything with legs. It's not that much of a big deal to Sarah anymore as she's already said goodbye to her virginity.

Sorry for some reason I was just reminded of my dad's sex education talk with me, I had never seen my dad that red, or I'd never stifled so many laugh's.

Watching Sex and the city gives you so many kinky ideas. Sarah's just back from the bathroom, with mascara stained face and smelling like vomit, but I love her anyway. I should go.. talk in the morning!