The Long Road To Peace

I've screamed

all night long


that the world was listening and crying out with me.

I believed

for so long

that the door



barring me

into these circumstances

would open and I would find you

and the way that we used to be

on the other end.

I don't know what I want

but this loneliness

this loss

is killing me.

I want

to be taken out of this never ending sentence

this verse

kissing me

like a dead man

cold lips to chill me

freeze me

keep me empty here.

I'm to young to be a victim

to young to have to cry out in order to heal myself

to young to find my hands unfilled

and my mind hazy.

I want to be in control

to be silenced

to be prohibited.

I want a country not at war.

I want a childhood

missing what I lacked

and accentuating what I wanted more of.

I need something

that I haven't found yet

but will never stop looking for.

My body has searched

trudged through

these pages

and these days

of me


contemplating myself.

With the future hanging over me like a desert sun

burning my shoulders and forehead

enough to make me bleed

and shed another skin

relieving myself of the mask

that separates me

from this,

what I really want deep inside.

It scares me

that I would give up everything

my writing

everything that I love

just to gain one moment of peace from all of this




that springs ever eternal

like a river overflowing from its banks.

I've screamed

all night long


that the world could fix me alone.

But I am the only one who can do that.