Note from the almighy author: It's done! It's done! It's done! All rejoice at it's doneness! does a happy jig

The Emerald Banana: Part Three

Mama Mevil's house was located in the east part of town, where the semi-wealthy people lived. Wealthy people got the north, in the west were the guilds and merchants, and the poor were kept caged in the South, leaving the East for the semi-wealthy-wannabe-nobles. Though, Mama Mevil was no wannabe-noble. NO, in her youth Mama Mevil was considered the most noblest of all the noble ladies. Sadly, her husband was a fool and Mama had to move to her parents quaint little semi-rich home.

The home itself was fairly small, but it still looked huge compared to the shacks the poor were locked in at night. A one-story building of elegance and beauty, the best semi-rich money could buy.

It was now at the fairly elaborate door of Mama Mevil's house that Captain Chit and Nameless Guard #1 stood. They had already rang the doorbell, and knocked, several times. Captain Chit was getting impatient.

Before the Captain could tear the door down, though, it opened revealing Sinidrar in all his sinisterness standing on the other side.

"Sinidrar," Captain Chit said through gritted teeth.

In a voice just as sweet, Sinidrar greeted them, "Captain Chit, Nameless Guard #1, so glad you could make it. Please, come in." Sinidrar stepped to one side to allow the captain and his guard to enter.

"Thank you," Captain Chit and Nameless Guard #1 entered the house.

It was fancy on the inside. Expensive looking rugs, beautiful paintings, other semi-fine things that only the semi-wealthy had. It was splendid for someone who was poor, tacky to the rich. That spot right between that made the world go round.

"Dinner will be served shortly, " Sinidrar said as he led them into the parlor.

"Good. Just one question, Sinidrar," Chit said before he even began to sit down.

"Go ahead and ask."

"Do we have time to do what I came here to do? I'd much rather get it done before dinner."

Sinidrar smiled evilly. "Why yes. We do. Will you please follow me to the basement. Taun is already waiting for us down there."

"Certainly." They left the parlor, Sinidrar leading the way to this evil lair. The way was to a door, which, when opened, led downstairs. They descended the staircase into the gloomy basement, torches lighting the way.

"You really could use some nice tapestries on the walls down here," Captain Chit said as they walked.

"That would kind of ruin the whole dungeon feel of it," responded Sinidrar, "It would make things cheerier instead of nice and dark."


"You know," Nameless Guard #1 began, "You could get really dark and scary tapestries made for the place. That would add to the gloomy atmosphere and cover up these bare walls."

Sinidrar glanced at the walls. "Yes, that's true. But getting custom made tapestries is so expensive nowadays. Ever since they formed a guild, the weavers have been charging exorbitant rates."

"Guilds, if you ask me, they're terrible things," said Chit.

They walked in silence for a bit, all the time descending lower and lower into the earth.

"How far down is this lair of yours?" Nameless Guard #1 asked, "I'm getting tired of climbing down these stairs."

"It's deep below the surface. Built by the dwarves you know," Sinidrar answered.

"The dwarves," Captain Chit muttered, slightly impressed.

Soon they entered a chamber. It was fairly large with shelves and shelves of ancient magic books, tables that help spell ingredients and strange looking instruments, small rodents in jars and a couple skeletons lying around, and the occasional fairy trapped in a bottle. At the center of the room was some sort of device. Three wooden legs held up a cone shaped piece of glass, the tip of which was pointed downwards. Next to the device stoop Taun, now wearing the black armor of Sinidrar's minions.

"Sir!" Taun saluted as Sinidrar walked up to the device.

"Do you like my 'Doomsday Device,' Captain Chit?" Sinidrar asked laying a hand on one of the legs.

"It looks sinister, Sinidrar."

Sinidrar laughed at this. "Good, it's supposed to. This, device, has immense power, Chit. It could easily destroy the world. Are you sure you want to go through with this battle of ours?" Sinidrar grinned evilly.

"You're evil, Sinidrar. Always have been. And it's my job to stop you!" Captain Chit drew his sword and lunged at Sinidrar.

The wizard easily dodged and threw a quick spell the Captain's way.

There was a clang of metal as Chit deflected the spell with is sword. An explosion of paper rained down upon the battle.

"Right into the books," Sinidrar muttered angrily as he prepared another attack.

The captain wasted no time and swung again at the wizard. This time he slicked a bit of robe, only to be caught in the back by a ball of electricity.

The captain let out a scream of pain but immediately turned back around to parry another of Sinidrar's spells. This one he sent into a skeleton, shards of bone flew threw the air.

"Hey! Watch it! That was my great uncle!" Sinidrar angrily yelled.


Captain Chit swung again, only to be caught in the chest with a fireball. Getting up he threw a glass bottle at the wizard. There was a shatter of glass and Sinidrar's next spell was interrupted.

The captain charged. Sinidrar led him darting around the legs of the device, dodging each one of the sword blows.

"You'll have to do better then that, Chit."

Near the bottom of the stairs, Nameless Guard #1 and Taun Smaur stood watching their superiors battle it out.

"So, Captain Chit thinks you're just pretending to be Sinidrar's minion. That you planned to stop him, " Nameless Guard #1 casually mentioned to Taun.

"Really? And what do you think?" Taun asked.

"I think you liked the uniforms."

Taun smiled, "Yes, the uniforms are nice."

"I like the black."

Sinidrar flung Captain Chit onto one of the tables. There was breakage of glass and objects scattered everywhere. The caption stood back up, only to be knocked back down by another of the wizard's attacks.

"You know, Sinidrar pays better too, "Taun said, watching the fight.


"Yeay, and you get dental."

"Dental?" Nameless Guard #1 looked at Tuan. "A good dental plan is so hard to come by these days."

"I know," Taun sighed, "And my kid is getting braces. I hated to betray city guards but my child's health is more important to me."

Nameless Guard #1 nodded his head, then winced as Captain Chit was thrown back into a bookshelf. As the captain slumped the ground several books fell on his head.

"I'll get you for that!" Captain Chit yelled as he staggered up, his words slightly slurred.

"Ooo! The captain's really getting a beating," Taun remarked as Sinidrar sent the Chit once again to the floor.

"Yeay! Should we do something?" Nameless Guard #1 asked.

They looked at each other; thought about is then, "Nah!"

"He doesn't need any help."

Sinidrar laughed as he sent Captain Chit flying through the air once again. His laugh was cut short, though, for he sent Captain Chit directly for his "Doomsday Device."

"Uh oh."

The wizard could only watch in horror as the captain smashed into the device, breaking though one of the legs and causing the whole ting to collapse. The cone at the center hit the floor and shattered into a million spectacular, glimmering pieces. Out of the cone slide the Emerald Banana, unharmed.

"Nooooo!" screamed Sinidrar as the other two legs cracked and broke. The whole device was now just a mess on the floor. "My Doomsday Device." The wizard reached his hand out to the wreckage as tears formed in his yes. "It was so beautiful."

Not was all over yet, though. The Emerald Banana still needed to be secured so Sinidrar could never build another device of doom. Captain Chit knew this, and so would have Sinidrar if he hadn't been so distraught over the destruction of his creation.

"Ah ha!" Captain Chit swiped the Emerald Banana out of the glass. "Your 'Doomsday Device' is destroyed and the key element of it is now within my grasp. Admit defeat, Sinidrar. You are vanquished." Captain Chit smiled triumphantly.

Sinidrar snarled at the captain. "I'll never admit defeat to you."

The air crackled with tension as Chit brought his sword up.



The tension grew. Taun and the nameless guard both moved back a bit, fearful of the glares their superiors were sporting. The silence was excruciating.

"Boys! Dinners ready!" Mama Meevil's voice cut through the silence like a knife. Sinidrar and Chit both looked up the stairs with smiles on their faces.

"Let's say it's a set back for you and I got the banana with some luck and skill," Captain Chit quickly said, trying to wrap things up so they could eat.

"Mostly luck?" Sinidrar asked.

"A fairly good portion was luck, but some mention of my great skill should be included."

"But you'll admit that I was a tough opponent and that you were close to losing."

"Well…alright. I guess I could do that. Agreed then?"

Sinidrar thought for a moment. "Agreed."

Compromise met, the two shook.

The four men proceeded to the upstairs to dine.

As it turns out, Mama Meevil's meat pies are as good as they say. The Emerald Banana was moved to a new location, a booby-trapped dungeon with a dragon guardian. Taun got to stay on with Sinidrar, Captain Chit told him it would be undercover work. And Nameless Guard #1 got promoted. He is now Lieutenant Rocenberg.

Yes, everything turned out nicely in the end, except for old lady Grekin, who still has to deal with the city guard taking her yard as a shortcut.