She was sitting at the end of the stage. Her Les Paul guitar besides her. They, her band, were doing a sound check for tonight's launch of their first Arena Tour. It was their time to shine after years of hard work and determination. Yet when the time had finally arrived, she couldn't focus. Too preoccupied with lost thoughts and hurt feelings. Just yesterday a friend told her that her boyfriend had cheated on her. The one that she loved above all, the one that she thought was her true love. He betrayed her in a way that she could've foreseen, but didn't want to. And above all today he had called her to inform her that he was in town. He needed to talk. She hadn't said much through the phone, but the awkward silence had made them aware that she knew and that it was time to break. He would arrive soon now and she didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act and how to end.
"He's not worth you." She then heard James say. She looked over her shoulder to see the dark haired boy standing. He was holding his bass in one hand and the other one was gently placed on her shoulder. "Yet he's occupying my mind, as always." She said. "You'll be fine." He said softly. Two pale blue eyes rested on her. A moment later she heard his footsteps walking to the other side of the stage as their manager called him over.
She sighed and stared around the empty hall, thinking about the boy that would arrive any moment now. She could've known. She should've known. He had a reputation, a reputation that she had loved to forget. They went to school together, shared classes together. And though it had always looked like they were so different from each other, the truth was that they were more the same than anyone could ever know. First time she had laid eyes on him, she had fallen for him, though she shared it with the world. Over the years she saw girls falling for him with a bat of an eyelash. A tender word and they were his. And over the years, she had kept up appearances; she had never let a word slide how much she liked him. She refused to be another toy. They saw each other every day, they teased, they talked and one day word got out that he liked her. Slowly she let go of anxiety, the fear of being hurt by him and then, they kicked off. Rumours spread that they wouldn't last. They proved them wrong.
"Come one, he's a fool, you know that." She heard and saw a hand offering her a bottle of water. She looked into green eyes, they looked back into her owns. "I know it's hard for you, but remember we care about you. One word, one scream, one little sign and J, Nate and I will trash pretty boy for you." He gave her a teasing yet encouraging smile. She took the bottle from him thankfully and gave her friend a weak smile: "Thank Lucas. You guys are the best." "Hey, after years of drumming, I know how to hit hard." He teased, bringing a genuine smile to her face now. "Hang tight." He murmured and embraced her before he walked to the back area again.
They had passed high school. He was proceeding to go to University. She was about to get a record deal. He was popular. She withdrew herself from attention. He made more friends. She kept the ones she had. But it didn't matter, she was his and he was hers. Promise me that you will love me. He had smiled assuring. Promise me that you won't break my heart. He had nodded. Promise me to hold my hand when I get scared. He had smiled. Promise me that you will let go of me when it isn't right anymore. Promise me to be honest and promise me to not dwell on the past or the present. Keep going and make it yours. He had kissed her.
"When you'll look back, you will see he's not the one." A warm voice said. "You will see what is meant to be and what is not. Just take a look around and see. Understand. Take it slow, take it easy." The voice continued and she stood up. Turning around to see a brown haired boy. "What is there to see, Nathan? Because now I can't see anything." She looked at him. He was tuning his guitar. He looked up and smiled at her: "It's his lost. Not yours. This will make you only stronger." "I keep hearing those words, but they seem so empty." She replied. Her eyes getting hazy. She let out a sigh and picked up her guitar. Preparing for the nest sound check of a song. She heard Lucas counting down. She closed her eyes and automatically she went along.
In her mind a crowd appeared. She was playing in absolute bliss. She was feeling the music through her veins. Getting lost in her music. Like it should be, she could feel the determination. The perfection as they played. She heard her own voice sing. A freedom coming out. And then a weird tension. A tension that wasn't supposed to be there. She opened her eyes, and looked into a pair of brown eyes. His dark haired was kind of covering his eyes. Black jeans that flattered him. She just stared at him, completely frozen. Feeling numb, emotions rushed through her heart, her mind, her body. And then it clicked. It fell into place. She closed her eyes, breathed in and the opened her eyes. And with a calm voice she asked: "Was she worth it?"
The boy looked at her. He wanted to say he was sorry; he wanted to say that he regretted it. But a memory flashed through his mind. Promise me that you will let go of me when it isn't right anymore. Promise me to be honest and promise me to not dwell on the past or the present. Keep going and make it yours. He opened his mouth, letting honesty leading the way: "Yes, she is."
They looked at each other, an understanding settled down. "Keep going and make it yours." She smiled at him and he knew it was alright. It was like time had stopped for them so they could understand. "Will you be alright?" he asked her. She looked back at the boy she once thought was hers. The features of his face, the shape of his heart. She knew it all, it had belonged to her. But it didn't anymore and she had no idea when it had stopped becoming hers. She didn't answer his question, but she gave him a reassuring smile. He returned the favour and turned around, but was stopped by Lucas who gave him a menacing look, but let him go again.
She stared at him as he walked out. The image emblazed in her mind. She let out a sigh and walked to the back with her guitar. "Are you alright?" she heard James asking worriedly. She turned to him and nodded: "I will be." "You're up for tonight's show? Are you sure?" Lucas asked. She hesitated but then nodded. She walked to her dressing room, locking herself up to think things through. Perhaps it was right that it had end, but the way it had ended made her feel angry, angry and sad. It used to be so perfect. They had it al figured out. Was it her fault in the end? Was she away from home too much? Or was it was just the way it was supposed to be? Could it have been different if she was a normal student like him? Thoughts slipping in her mind, like a storm raging. The way someone was, defined their way of life. She breathed in, trying to calm her self. She closed her eyes and breathed out. A few moments later someone knocked on her door. "Let's get it started." She mumbled and picked up her guitar. As she saw the crowd and the questioning faces of her band mates she nodded: "Let's do it. Let's kick off. Let's rock. Don't let it slip away. We've made it, we won't let it pass us by." They entered the stage and she looked around and smiled at her band mates. She remembered what Nathan had said to her once: The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. But tonight none of it was relevant, tonight was hers.