No More!

Fear, is his eyes

famishing me

until I'm left with nothing else but the memory

of the love that I gave him

which was not returned

but burned

like wood

against the honey lips of flames

averting

and

controlling my sense of will power

to leave these recollections behind.

Leave them!

let me leave them here

on paper

to get them out of my mind

and my nightmares.

I cried

as I had never known that I could.

I became a gutter

yours

and theirs

letting their rivers flow into me

until I was sick to death of it all.

Fear, is his eyes

naked

under

and above me

reassuring me

that his hands are only pure entities.

Dear sweet saint

clutching his holy words

while

at the same time he kills me.

Fear, is his eyes

staring me down

so hard

so small

my bones curl

and

my eyes close

his now

who?

am?

I?

without him.

Who?

am?

I?

without me.

Fear, is his eyes

beyond my tears

for him.

It is my shake

and sway

at the thought of him

on the road

with me.

My strength under his grip

my throat against his hand.

Fear, is his eyes

and I'm to young to be old.

Stars-

invisible silence

within

my grasp

but too far to reach.

Fear is the eyes that stare me down

underneath threats

and bells tolling

for the dead ones

and my own skin dieing

my mind weeping tears so silent to wash me clean of my doom.

This night

this morning

this reawakening

on the road

without him

and the long journey home

which has taken me uncountable years.

Its like a bullet

paralyzing you

but leaving you alive

to watch your own decay.

Its like a thought

that your ashamed of

but will forever be in the back of your mind.

Do you have a meaning?

A concept?

A metaphor?

To help me.

To heal me.

Is their anything left that I can say

to free myself

from the one night

that has kept me chained for years.

This torch

burning

the fear

from his eyes

into mine.