Journal
By: Tim Blake


This one time, at my house, my friend Remik and I were in the basement watching TV, as usual. All of a sudden, Remik let out the hugest scream I've ever heard in my entire life. I looked at him with a confused look on my face and he looked at me oddly. I asked him what he did that for and he answered: "I dunno...it just happened." I raised an eyebrow and went back to the TV. Remik then, let out an even louder scream that would wake the dead. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and got up off the couch and satin the rocking chair by the computer desk and started to play around on the computer. Remik let out another scream, which shattered the glass of the windows, fireplace and both the TV and computer monitors. I jerked my head at him and yelled at him, asking what he did that for. Remik shrugged and suddenly the whole house started to shake. The carpet suddenly exploded and a giant mound of black, hairy spiders scattered everywhere. My eyes went wide and I almost fell off the rocking chair. My dad came down the stairs to see what all the commotion was about. He saw all the spiders and screamed like a little school girl and ran back up the stairs. Remik, who was scared stiff, watched as a spider climbed up his head and plopped down in his hair and took a nap. I leaned back too far and toppled out of the chair and fell on my back. I looked up and saw all the spiders looking at me with confused looks. The spider upon Remik's head started to wake up and stared at me as well. I sat up and scrambled to the couch, my back against it. I stared at the awaiting spiders as they stared at me. My eyes were wide and the spiders followed my gaze. I suddenly clapped my hands once, then two more times quickly and the spiders on the carpet started to do the Irish Jig. The spider on Remik's head started to River dance and this weird Irish dance music came out of nowhere and all the spiders started to River dance to the tune. I, who was scared out of my wits watched in horror as the hairy spiders danced to my background as if they were mocking me. Remik started to laugh and the spider on his head fell off and came back at him and bit his leg, making Remik pass out on the couch. As this moment kept getting odder and odder. My cat came out of my brother's room wearing a blue vest and a red head band and went in front of the spiders and went on his hind legs and clapped once, making the music and the spiders stop, then two more times quicker and made the music and spiders start up again and danced along with them, kicking his feet in the air. "Okay, everyone!" said my cat. "Let's get this show on the road!" The whole gang started to dance even more, the music getting louder. My cat stopped and threw down his headband and the spiders stopped. The cat just started to dance on his own. I looked over at Remik, who was drooling in his sleep on the couch and ran up stairs to get the phone and dialed the number to my school for the talent show. When the spiders and the cat preformed that night, we had a huge round of applause from the audience and got a career for our pets. I gladly accepted and we joined the circus and were named 'The Irish Potatoes'. My family and I got rich quite quickly and now live in a huge mansion on the beaches of Simcoe Lake. The Irish potatoes still preform for $5 a person and you can watch them preform at the Bob Fallis sports center every Tuesday to Saturday, and maybe...just maybe, They'll preform the whole performance of Brave Heart on Sundays for half price. Oh, and Remik? He's okay...just a little dazed from what happened. For some odd reason, he keeps mumbling something about how Arachnids will rule the world at the year 2020 with their evil schemes of Irish Jigs and bagpipes. We sent him to an insane asylum a few days after...