EXT. GLORIA'S CAR - DAYS LATER - MOVING SHOT
CLOSE UP of Aiden, staring through his passenger side window, morosely watching the passing scenery. He remains disarmingly still.
AIDEN (V.O.)
There's nothing that I enjoy about funerals.
Nothing at all. But they're a necessity, especially
when it comes to people you love. I bore through
it as best as I could. But I couldn't stop thinking
about what my grandfather told me. I kept repeating it my
mind, over and over. The more I thought about it,
the more I realised how incredibly right my
grandfather was about... everything. I've
been nothing but a total douchebag to myself,
not to mention those who cared about me. It
was time to do some damage control.
(with steely resolve)
One by one.
CUT TO
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM - LAKE ROAD RESIDENCE - THE NEXT DAY (NIGHT)
A large room with rows and rows of washers and dryers. AIDEN appears at a washer, stuffing dirty clothes. He yawns, scratching his ruffled hair. Behind him, ANNA and NATHAN are sitting atop of a dryer, making out very heavily.
AIDEN (V.O.)
It's not that I had a problem with the two of them
being together. It's just... when you constantly play
tonsil hockey in front of someone who's very much
incredibly sexually frustrated, it sort of leads to that
person wanting to shoot you in the face with a shotgun.
Anna breaks it off, stealing a glance at her watch.
ANNA
I have to get going. My Harry/Ron slashfic is due
in an hour. The ending really needs some touching up.
There's nowhere near enough sex.
NATHAN
What's this for?
ANNA
It's a slashfic contest! I've only talked about it, for
like, every day for a month.
NATHAN
Well, slash away, I guess.
ANNA
Will you miss me?
NATHAN
Nah.
ANNA
Yeah, I won't miss you either.
They nab each other with another kiss, and Anna's on her way, waving briskly at Aiden as she passes him. Aiden waves back, smiling vaguely. He looks over to Nathan, who's drumming his hands on the dryer.
NATHAN
She's a firecracker.
AIDEN
Isn't she.
NATHAN
There are days, you know, when it feels like her
fanfiction means more to her than I do.
AIDEN
Oh?
NATHAN
Yeah. I mean, it's only once in a while. But she just
gets so excited about her stories and ideas and
slashing and god knows what fanfic writers do.
She showed me this one site - this one chick
wrote a 24-chapter story about Magneto and Professor
X doing each other in an abandoned church.
AIDEN
Comic-universe or movie-universe?
NATHAN
Movie.
AIDEN
Ew.
NATHAN
My thoughts exactly.
AIDEN
I thought this kinda stuff didn't freak you out?
NATHAN
What stuff?
AIDEN
The gay stuff.
NATHAN
Well, it doesn't... but the fact that some people are
just so completely into it... so obsessed, you know?
I mean... Harry Potter and Ron? They aren't even
legal. That's pretty shifty.
AIDEN
Hey, there are much worse. Anna told me about
this fic where Harry went back in time to have
sex with his father.
NATHAN
Now there's something The Goblet of Fire was
missing.
AIDEN
Have you talked to Anna about this?
NATHAN
No, I don't want to hurt her feelings... we've only
just barely begun this whole... relationship.
I wanna wait a while before I make a complete
asshole of myself.
Aiden smiles to himself as he closes the washer door and begins to pour some detergent into a large plastic cup.
NATHAN
But, yeah, that's me. How's it going with you,
man? Feeling any better?
AIDEN
Oh, yeah. Definitely. I mean, my grandpa's been
pretty sick for a while. We were all kind of expecting
it, sorta. I guess...
NATHAN
You guess?
AIDEN
It was just that... even though we were expecting
it, it still felt sudden. Is that crazy?
He pours the detergent into that washer, rather thoughtfully.
NATHAN
No, not at all. It always feels sudden.
AIDEN
I feel crazy.
NATHAN
Well, your grandfather's in a better place now, right?
And as long as you're doing good...
(then)
How are things with Logan?
After a pregnant pause, Aiden turns a dial on the washer, adjusts the settings, and waits for the machine to spring to life. He turns to Nathan, shrugs.
AIDEN
He's locking himself in his room, gearing up for
finals, you know? Really worried about his marks.
NATHAN
Well, I meant in terms of...
He curls up a fist with one hand, and with his other hand, sticks a finger into it repeatedly. A wry grin appears on Nathan's face. Aiden can't help but laugh.
AIDEN
That's hardcore classy, Nathan.
NATHAN
It's hardcore something, anyway.
AIDEN
In your eloquently put terms, no, nothing's been
happening.
NATHAN
Well, IS something gonna happen? I mean,
fuck, I've been on pins and needles. You two
are like that really annoying romantic comedy
couple that everyone knows is gonna end up
with one another in the end - and all this filler
in between is total bullshit.
Aiden doesn't really know what to say.
NATHAN
So you might as well jump him the next time
you see him, eh?
AIDEN
A lovely man breeds lovely suggestions.
NATHAN
If you wanted to give me another go, I'm
afraid I might have to put up a big warning sign.
AIDEN
Well, I wasn't suggesting we-
NATHAN
Not that there's anything wrong with that, of
course.
AIDEN
(somewhat confused)
No, there isn't...
NATHAN
I'm just saying, now that I've got all the ol'
ball and chain... you know...
AIDEN (V.O.)
Nathan did nothing but confuse me in that
laundry room. Why was he suddenly so nervous
about our admittedly naughty past - which he
previously went out of his way to assure me that
he did not feel ashamed of it all? And referring to
Anna as his "ball and chain" was significantly
offensive enough to alert me: Nathan's got some
pretty obvious doubts.
Aiden pushes his empty laundry basket aside and looks at Nathan. Hard.
AIDEN
What the hell is going on with you?
NATHAN
(nervously)
What do you mean? I'm a healthy young man
with his whole life ahead of him. I've got the
world in the palm of my hand and a little
spring in my step.
AIDEN
(again)
What the hell is going on with you?
NATHAN
(suddenly vulnerable)
I don't think me and Anna are gonna work out.
AIDEN
What? Why?
NATHAN
She's an awesome girl - okay - I like being with
her a lot. But sometimes I feel like I'm not good
enough for her. Like she deserves a lot better.
You know?
AIDEN
Well, no, Nathan, I don't know. As far as I've
seen, you aren't smacking her around or yelling
at her when she doesn't make you dinner. You're
almost sickeningly sweet when around her. It's
like whenever she's in the room, all your attention
is on her and no one or anything else. You
have an amazing smile and impressively
developed arms. You are, in short, awesome
boyfriend material. So just shut up and be
thankful for what you have.
NATHAN
But--
AIDEN
Where exactly did I lose you on that whole
"shut up" thing? Go to her room and let her
know that you fully support her fanfiction
slashing crusades.
Nathan's about to say something else - but then motions to Aiden to get him to take off the invisible tape he's put over Nathan's mouth. Aiden nods.
NATHAN
And why am I going to do this?
AIDEN
Because...
Aiden makes some motions with his arms, trying to get Nathan to think. He mulls it over with his mind - and his eyes light up when he comes to his conclusion.
NATHAN
(working it out)
Because... despite the fact that I don't really
understand her interest in it, it makes her happy,
and that's all that matters to me. Her happiness.
Aiden smiles proudly.
AIDEN
See? You didn't even need me.
NATHAN
Like hell I didn't. How did you get so wise?
AIDEN
Genetics.
Confused, but nonetheless happy, Nathan pulls in his roommate for a hug.
NATHAN
I'm really gonna miss you, man.
AIDEN
I'm gonna miss you, too.
NATHAN
Can't believe it's just another month. And... poof.
AIDEN
Poof?
NATHAN
Poof as in "Bam! We're gone".
AIDEN
Why didn't you say "Bam! We're gone" instead?
NATHAN
You know, I'm giving you a hug. I think I should
be getting a free pass from your judo-like grip
on english.
AIDEN
(smiles)
My apologies.
They break it off. Nathan shrugs his shoulder.
NATHAN
And, I didn't mean to freak out about, you know,
our liaison. Because I really don't regret it.
AIDEN
I appreciate that, thanks.
NATHAN
I mean, if it weren't for Anna, I'd probably be
pouncing you right now.
AIDEN
(smiling)
The feeling's reciprocated.
Nathan smiles back, begins heading out.
NATHAN
I'll seeya, man.
AIDEN
Bye.
He walks completely out of frame. Aiden watches him leave; can't help but sigh. He turns and stares at the washing machine behind him.
FADE TO
INT. LOGAN'S ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
Amidst the messiness sits LOGAN, facing an open textbook, looking remarkably worn and frustrated. He turns and gives a hard glare at his clock, which reads 9:32 PM. Tapping impatiently on his lap, Logan eyeballs his phone.
Sits. Thinks. Thinks. Thinks. Thinks.
Logan grabs it and dials a number. We enter SPLIT SCREEN: Logan on the left side, Aiden's empty room on the right. Aiden's phone rings annoyingly, but no hand picks it up. After several moments, AIDEN bursts into his room, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, dripping wet.
As he dashes, we hear his voice-mail message:
AIDEN (VOICE MAIL)
Hi, this is Aiden. Phone's too far away.
There's a high-pitched BEEP, but Aiden grabs the receiver before Logan has the chance to initiate a message. He answers, somewhat out of breath.
AIDEN
Hello? Hi?
LOGAN
Aiden, hey! You alright? Sound out of breath.
AIDEN
I ran from the shower.
LOGAN
Right out of the shower?
AIDEN
Quite literally.
LOGAN
So you're naked.
AIDEN
And wet.
LOGAN
Naked and wet. Best combination since
peanut butter and jelly.
AIDEN
You know, you do live next door to me.
You could've come and knocked on the
door to witness me and my... wetness
in person.
Logan's grin could not be any wider. He leans back in his chair, putting one arm around the back of his head.
LOGAN
Why Mr. Redfield, if I didn't know any
better I'd swear you were flirting with me.
AIDEN
It appears that you do not indeed know
any better, my dear Logan.
LOGAN
Oh, my.
AIDEN
What are you doing right now?
LOGAN
A botched attempt at studying. You?
AIDEN
A botched attempt at showering.
LOGAN
Yes, right. But why at 9:30 at night?
AIDEN
A shower at night is very calming.
LOGAN
Really? I've never tried it.
AIDEN
I might have to give you a hand, one day.
LOGAN
You ARE flirting with me!
AIDEN
Yeah, yeah - you love it.
LOGAN
(with a chuckle)
Maybe I do.
Aiden throws a quick glance at his own clock.
AIDEN
You've got your final tomorrow?
LOGAN
Rather unfortunately.
AIDEN
You might wanna get on that, then. I'll leave
you alone.
LOGAN
Hold on - I called to ask you if wanted to
hang out afterwards. It'll be my FINAL final
tomorrow, ends at 5:30... figured maybe
you'd be up for a little celebration?
AIDEN
That sounds great, yeah. My last one ends
at 4... what did you have in mind for this
celebration? Should we rope Anna and
Nathan into this?
LOGAN
Hm... nah. I think this should just be a
you-and-me thing.
AIDEN (V.O.)
My heart, right there? Did a fucking backflip.
AIDEN
(a little bit astonished)
Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. That's... yeah.
LOGAN
I'm... guessing I have your seal of approval?
AIDEN
Consider it so.
LOGAN
Great. Can't wait. Seeya tomorrow.
AIDEN
You too. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY!
LOGAN
Yeah, yeah.
They both hang up, almost in tandem. Aiden's side of the screen disappears. Logan stares at his text book, contemplating it. He brings his hands to his head, massaging his throbbing temples.
CUT TO
INT. LECTURE HALL - THE NEXT DAY (AFTERNOON)
A gigantic, sprawling room, students crammed in with one another in uncomfortable seats. A stern looking PROFESSOR watches each and every one of them carefully as they struggle through their final exams. The CAMERA pushes in on LOGAN, who sits near the back, looking absolutely, horrendously confused.
He taps his pencil repeatedly on his desk, scouring the depths of his mind to search for anything - ANYTHING - that might help him get through this exam. The CAMERA drifts past him, toward the exit doors...
CUT TO
EXT. HALLWAY - LECTURE HALL - CONT'D
...where Aiden paces back and forth, waiting patiently for Logan's exam to end. Without warning, the doors swing open, and Logan hops out. They're startled to see one another.
LOGAN
You're early.
AIDEN
So are you.
(glances at his watch)
It's only been an hour. How long
was the exam?
LOGAN
A fair… number… of pages. But
I'm done now, that's what matters,
right? Am I right? I'm right, right?
AIDEN
Uh… I'm getting a bit of a mad
scientist vibe from you right now.
LOGAN
Is it sexy?
A smirk appears on Aiden's face.
AIDEN
Beyond the telling of it.
Logan can't help but smirk back.
LOGAN
How was YOUR final, may I ask?
AIDEN
Oh, it was… a piece of cake.
FLASHBACK: Aiden, an hour earlier, sitting in a lecture amidst several other frustrated students. He chews a pencil so hard it breaks in his mouth.
AIDEN
OWWFUCK!!
Every student in the lecture turns their head towards him. He grimaces slightly. END FLASHBACK.
AIDEN
Child's play, even.
LOGAN
Alright – let's say we go celebrate?
At Red Eyes'?
AIDEN
Red Eyes? It's only 4 in the afternoon!
LOGAN
Oh whatever, intoxication is blind
to the time of day. You out of all
people should know this.
AIDEN
Because I'm irish.
LOGAN
Exactly. Come on, buddy, let me get
you drunk.
AIDEN (V.O.)
Sometimes it felt like Logan knew
exactly what I wanted to hear.
AIDEN
Let the drunkening begin.
With two wide grins, Logan and Aiden head off screen.
INT. RED EYES – LATER
A large club-like area with a dance floor, a small stage for a rock band, and of course, the bar. Being the end of the school year, the place is pretty jam packed with rowdy, celebratory students.
Logan and Aiden enter and soak in the college-y atmosphere.
AIDEN
I've actually never been here before.
LOGAN
It's a cool place. Although it got so
wild when Metric played here – oh fuck,
that was such an awesome night.
AIDEN
When was this?
LOGAN
Er… last October.
AIDEN
Oh, the-me-hating-you-month.
Logan musters a brave smile.
LOGAN
Right. That month.
AIDEN
I never actually hated you, Logan, I want you
to know that.
LOGAN
Oh – yeah – no, totally.
(then)
You know what you need?
AIDEN
A healthy dose of Eric Bana?
LOGAN
I was gonna say a shot of tequila…
AIDEN
Right! It's much more likely that
the bartender would have that.
They start to move towards the bar.
LOGAN
Eric Bana, really? Don't you think
his ears are too big?
AIDEN
Oh GOD no… they're adorable. They'd
be good to nibble on.
Logan throws a fist over his heart in mock-pain.
LOGAN
I'm getting a little green here, Aid.
AIDEN
Hey, get me drunk enough and maybe
your ears will start looking bigger.
Logan immediately pounds the bar.
LOGAN
BARTENDER!
Aiden laughs and takes a good look around the place. He spots NATHAN and ANNA lounging at a table near the dancefloor. The CAMERA does a fast zippy thing towards them.
NATHAN
So… how is it even possible you lost
the slashfic contest?
Anna films her hand away in disgust.
ANNA
The new movie's opening soon, so many
people get inspired. This one bitch
paired Neville with Professor Lupin…
while Sirious watched. Can you believe
that?
NATHAN
Not… really…
ANNA
It was GENIOUS, Nathan. And her prose
was beautiful! Every thrust was described
with such… such detail… and… god. I
don't think I'll ever be as good of a
writer as her.
NATHAN
Bullshit, Anna. You're ten times the
writer she is. Neville and Lupin and
Sirious? It has been DONE, honey.
Hell, it's so obvious. The judges were
on some pretty decadent crack.
Anna looks at him, pouting cutely.
ANNA
You think so?
NATHAN
I know so. And if you think you need
to improve, then just keep writing
this stuff. You'll get better with
every story. And that other chick
who won? Will be living in a dumpster.
ANNA
The really gross kind? With the diapers?
NATHAN
The AWFUL kind… the ones that hospitals use.
Anna slides a loving hand onto Nathan's. He warms at her touch.
ANNA
You're the best boyfriend I've ever had.
Nathan blushes at this.
NATHAN
You mean that?
ANNA
Well… the only one… really. The only
real one.
NATHAN
Oh.
He leans in and kisses her softly.
NATHAN
Thanks.
They both lean in for another kiss as the CAMERA zips back around to the bar, where Logan and Aiden have finished a round of shots.
LOGAN
Fuck, I love tequila.
Aiden is still grimacing from the burn.
AIDEN
It feels like somebody poured gasoline down
my throat and threw in a lit match.
Logan pats him admirably on the back.
LOGAN
Welcome to the glamorous world of alcholism.
AIDEN
Oh, pfft, I've had alcohol before.
LOGAN
You little lush.
Aiden's face is bright red – not from embarassment, but from the booze.
LOGAN
Hey, how's your mom doing?
Aiden takes another shot. Another grimace.
AIDEN
Random.
LOGAN
I'm just asking. She's a nice woman.
AIDEN
She's fuckin' insane.
(then)
But, yeah, she's doing good. Although…
Takes another shot.
AIDEN
I'm kinna worried bout her… her love life…
she was seeing this guy… but now she's not…
Another shot.
AIDEN
Oh…. ow.
(goes on)
I use ta think her getting a boyfriend woul' be
bad… but now I jus wan her to be happy…
LOGAN
That's sweet.
AIDEN
She's a beautiful woman, my mom…
He takes a step towards Logan, but stumbles a bit.
AIDEN
I don unnerstan why she doesn have a boyfriend…
my mom should be dating…
Aiden pauses and gasps, as if some marvelous, innovative thought had just struck him.
AIDEN
My mom should be SEAN CONNERY!
LOGAN
Uh…
AIDEN
It'd be sooo perfect…
LOGAN
You mean she should be DATING Sean Connery?
Aiden waves at him dismissively.
AIDEN
Sure.
He goes to take another shot, but Logan stops him.
LOGAN
Okay, Goldie Hawn, let's get you a glass of water.
AIDEN
Waiwaiwaiwait! I wanna say hi to my friens…
Aiden stumbles all the way through the bar towards Anna and Nathan, who are now cuddling in a booth.
ANNA
Aiden! Hey!
NATHAN
Didn't know you'd be—
AIDEN
OHMAGOD I jus want to say I love you BOTH!!!
So much…
NATHAN
Uh…
AIDEN
Anna you are SO pretty… you're like… Annigan
Hallyson…
Nathan and Anna exchange a look.
ANNA
You mean Alyson Hannigan?
AIDEN
If I was into snatch I would SOOOO be into yours…
like seriously…
Anna suddenly turns bright red, and unlike Aiden, it's not from the alcohol.
AIDEN
And Nathan…
Aiden gestures grandly, like a theatrical actor.
AIDEN
What the fuck can I say, man… you're just
awesome… and I almost went down on you.
NATHAN
Yes, yes, that's entirely true. Thanks.
(leans in closer)
You're here with someone, right?
AIDEN
Yeah… the tall one… over there…
Nathan glances over, spots Logan at the bar.
NATHAN
Okay. Good. Otherwise you'd be kinda pathetic.
AIDEN
I love you.
NATHAN
Love you too, pudding. Go over there and get
in that man's pants.
Nathan guides Aiden in the direction he's to stumble towards, then lets him go. He plops back down next to Anna, putting an arm around her.
NATHAN
Peculiar boy.
Anna takes a sip of her Cosmopoliton and then snuggles in with him.
ANNA
Too bad he isn't bi or anything, cuz then we
could totally have a threesome with him.
Nathan's eyebrow rises quite suggestively. AIDEN approaches Logan from behind and gives him a huge hug, his skinny arms wrapping around the considerable width of Logan's chest.
AIDEN
I don't know why you like me so much,
but thank you.
AIDEN (V.O.)
In my inebriated state, it was an acceptable
to say. But looking back on it, I'd say it
borders on Jessica Simpson-level desperate.
Logan, clearly uncomfortable with this ass-backwards way of being hugged, turns around and looks upon Aiden's smile and droopy eyes.
LOGAN
You wanna get a booth?
AIDEN
Lead the way.
TIME CUT: Around half an hour later, Logan and Aiden are cozy in a little both at the rear of the bar. Logan is nursing a beer, and Aiden's nursing…a glass of water.
AIDEN
I told you I was an easy drunk.
LOGAN
An easy drunk? Do you KNOW how many
shots you took? It would've taken down an
elephant.
Aiden smiles at that.
AIDEN
Such a flattering comparison.
LOGAN
You love it.
AIDEN
Like I love Eric Bana's ears.
LOGAN
Oh, fuckin' gross.
AIDEN
Hey, you called me an elephant, so I get to
be attracted to Eric Bana.
LOGAN
I didn't CALL you an elephant. I… suggested
if you and an elephant were to have a drinking
contest, you would be the clear, undisputed winner.
AIDEN
Well thank you. Why do you hate Eric Bana
so much? It can't be because of his ears.
LOGAN
I don't HATE him… I just wish you'd rather…
Logan trails off. Aiden raises an inquisitive eyebrow.
LOGAN
You know, Anna says I look like the lovechild
of Eric Bana and Hugh Jackman.
Aiden can't help but laugh.
LOGAN
C'mon, don't you think her opinion is worth
something?
AIDEN
Logan, a song called "Restoration of the
Infernal Kingdom" by Rotting Christ has
been played on her iTunes list 173 times.
LOGAN
So that's a no.
AIDEN
There is a tiny bit of resemblance in that
you're ridiculously tall and have this sort
of dark, brooding quality… but your eyes
are different. Your lips are poutier.
LOGAN
My lips are poutier?
AIDEN
They're top pouters.
LOGAN
You've noticed that my lips are pouty?
AIDEN
That I have.
LOGAN
Which means you've noticed my lips.
AIDEN
This is true.
LOGAN
Which means you've thought about my lips.
AIDEN
The best-selling novel about them will soon
be adapted to stage. Your point?
Logan leans in a little, with a cheeky grin. He lowers his voice.
LOGAN
You've thought about my lips.
Aiden smiles coyly.
AIDEN
Have you thought about mine?
LOGAN
More times then I can count.
Their eyes meet.
AIDEN (V.O.)
Okay. This was it. This was it. I don't know
if it was the residual alcohol, or the dim lights,
or how awesome he looked in that shirt…
but I had to… or else I would have exploded.
Aiden kisses Logan, full-on. It starts out demurely enough, but Logan soon opens his mouth, as does Aiden. They grow closer, arms wrapping around one another as the intensity of their kiss deepens.
CUT TO: The alleyway outside of Red Eyes. The door suddenly bursts open, with Logan and Aiden exiting, their bodies (and tongues) still entwined. Because of their height difference, Logan picks Aiden up by the legs as Aiden wraps his arms around Logan's neck.
Logan walks backward, absorbed in the kiss, until his back reaches the alley wall. Their make out session continues as the CAMERA slowly backs away. If the night were any colder, their bodies would be steaming.
Author's note: Terribly sorry about the decade-long wait between updates… the next chapter will be the last!