Andrew was my older brother, my role model. I had always looked up to him as someone who would always be there for me, constantly giving me advice and helping me out. He was exactly three years older than me, both our birthdays being on August 15th. He was not only extremely intelligent, but also his high school star basketball player and his band's lead singer and lyricist. Unlike most older siblings, he never treated me like an inferior, but treated me the same way he treated his friends. I really admired him, not only because he was such a great writer, an amazing athlete, and the most intelligent person I knew, but also because he was always there for you, no matter what the situation was. Little did I know he wouldn't be with me forever and if I would've known then I never would've taken our brother-sister relationship for granted.

When Andrew turned eighteen my parents sent him off to college. Though he got into Yale, he went to the University of California, Los Angeles because he wanted to be as close to us as possible. We too lived in Los Angeles, so it was easy for him to visit us often; in fact, he visited every other weekend, and always remembered to bring me a new music CD. He would tell me about his college life and I would update him on high school, my latest crush, and everything else going on in life. He was great about listening to my problems and helping me solve them.

Once in a couple of months he would meet up with his other band mates and put up a show especially for me and my friends. His band was called Sweet Amber, named after me (my name being Amber). He was an awesome singer and songwriter, and their band was famous here in Los Angeles. The only reason they hadn't become world famous as yet was because Andrew, Abhishek, and Ricky were keen on completing their studies, though Royden and Mark didn't really care. Andrew would say, "We've got our whole life to become famous, but once we lose out on these precious study years, we won't be able to turn back time and relive them."

That was my brother until he turned twenty. I don't know exactly when he started pushing me away from his life, but it started around his twentieth birthday. He hadn't come home for almost two months and he sounded awfully distant on the phone, that was if he even bothered to call. He seemed to be in a hurry all the time and his voice no longer sounded warm. Something was wrong, but we were in denial, we kept telling ourselves he was just way too busy with college and his new life.

Andrew came home after a whole two months. He looked very different from when I had seen him last. He had dyed his dark brown hair a deep royal blue, he now had an eyebrow piercing and tongue piercing, and he showed me his new tattoo which was his band's symbol. He was dressed differently too, he was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt and slashed jeans. He usually wore decent presentable clothes in front of our parents as mom was particular about dressing well, though I knew he wore such things at college.

Mom didn't comment about his clothes though she didn't look too happy with what she was seeing. He didn't give me his usual greeting, "hey sis, what's up dudette?" He just showed me his tattoo and then walked past me as if I didn't exist. He locked himself in his room and didn't come out for the next four hours, even when both mom and dad called him a million times to come out and talk to them. Since my bedroom was next to his, I could hear him shouting something on the phone. He was angry, but I didn't say anything about it to my parents, after all, he was probably just having a bad day.

Finally when he did come out of his room, he seemed tired and really distant. His eyes were weird, they were dilated though the room was very bright. My parents didn't notice that though, they were too busy trying to get him to talk. His voice was extremely monotonous with a hint of annoyance and anger. He kept glancing at me, every time he did so, he would get an uneasy look on his face. Then I couldn't help it, I asked him, "Andrew, did you see an eye doctor today?"

"No, what makes you think that?"

"How come your pupils are so dilated? The eye drops usually give you that effect."

He gave an uneasy laugh and excused himself. He took my hand and literally dragged me to his room. I quietly went without making a fuss, he obviously wanted to say something. "Why the fuck did you ask me that in front of mom and dad? Don't you have any sense?" He was really angry, his dilated pupils made him look scarier than ever before and his snarl was enough to terrify even Osama Bin Laden.

"I didn't know I wasn't suppose to ask you that. I was worried about you; dilated pupils are a sign of something being wrong. Are you alright?"

Andrew sighed and said, "I'm sorry Amb, I shouldn't have done that. Promise me you won't tell mom and dad what I'm going to tell you."

"I promise. Are you okay?"

"I'm addicted to crack. Please Amber, don't tell anyone about it, please! I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't noticed my eyes."

My head was spinning, I was suddenly queasy. Was it possible MY brother could do this? He was the same guy who told me to stay as far away from drugs as possible. He even wrote a song talking about how drugs "rot" your brains. How could he go against what he preached? "Are you crazy? You can't be my brother! What happened to everything you told me about drugs? You're joking right? You aren't addicted to crack, you liar!"

Andrew had a solemn look on his face as he said, "Don't scream, mom will hear. I wish I could say I was just joking. Believe me, it started off as an experiment. I had no intentions of becoming an addict. I'm sorry Amber. I promise I'll try to get off them. I promise!"

"I wish I could trust your eyes, but you've changed Drew. Please stop taking crack, for me, for mom, for dad. Please Andrew, I don't want to lose you."

"You promised you won't tell mom and dad."

"I won't," I was crying by now. I couldn't believe he was killing himself just for artificial bliss.

Andrew gave me a pat on the back and said, "Don't worry about it kiddo. I'll get out of it, after all, I've only been using it for around three months. Now leave me alone, I'm dead tired." He gently pushed me out of his room and locked himself in.

He left for college the next morning.


A/N: ok, this story isn't a true story, but I know someone who has gone through something similar to this. I've tried writing something similar to this before, but got writer's block and didn't continue it. I promise this story shall be complete, as I have already written the whole thing. I'll have the next chapter up soon, provided I get a good Well it's a pretty sad story...lets see where it goes...