A cry escapes my lips;

meant to be a scream.

It falls on deaf ears,

blind stares.

They do not see me here.

Sadness etched in my features,

blink back those stinging tears.

I close my eyes,

wishing this would make it disappear.

Vanish into the fog

that is my memories.

And you say you see me,

you say you notice…

but truly you do not.

Only a passing glance is spared.

I don't matter to any of you.

You don't know anything about me,

I bite my tongue

to hold back those daggers of words

poised there.

To truly let it all out…

is unthinkable.

I would surely burn up in the heat

of my own passion, anger;

before I would ever

attempt to persuade you

to understand.

And it's as if I am two people at once:

one hiding, wishing for just one sweet moment

of comfort…

the other sways to familiar music

laughs…sings… teases you.

Which am I really?

Both?

Do I laugh to see if you will notice the strain?

Do I sing to see if you catch the tremble in my voice?

Do I tease you because I don't know what I can say without ruining my guise?

Am I too clever for my own good?

I hide so well… too well;

no one will ever find me here.

No one will ever see me here.

Here…right before your eyes.