Almost As Good

A misty outer surface,
Concealing what is real,
There isn't any reason,
For emotions that I feel.

Another fleeting memory,
And one less place to hide,
The wound is far from healing,
Though the blood has almost dried.

I cannot dream of dying,
For fear it might come true,
I cry out for forgiveness,
For I know not what I do.

My life, a near disaster,
I shall not give up now,
I have to prove I'm worthy,
If I can find out how.

An ugly, tangled answer,
Tells me what is true,
I must not live this life, until,
I am as good as you.