I'm Sorry
I'm sorry I suck at life.
I really am trying to be a good person.
I just screw up so damn much.
Why the fuck is it so damn hard for me to be a Christian?
I pray about making the right decision and try to act it at the right time.
But my damned human emotions get in the fucking way.
Take them out! Gut them! Boil them!
Then strain them!
And give me what's left over - the truth.
Why can't I shut the hell up?
No one wants to hear my point-of-view.
I think it's right, but it's probably
The worst thing to do.
Have I been wrong in my friendships?
Maybe they were trying just as hard as I was.
My own blood - how can you leave me and never turn back to try the
friendship again?
I'm fucked up. I really am.
All I'm asking for is a second chance.or third.or hundredth.
Please - just tell me that you understand.
That you can sift through my mistakes and find good intentions.
Why the fuck do intentions matter?
They don't prevent sin. They're just another pitiful excuse of mine.
I'm sick of trying to justify myself.
I can't tell any more if it's real or if it's a lie I made up to try to
apologize.
Why can't I just say it?
I don't want to lie --- a lot of times I'm not sorry for saying what I
believed because I'm afraid that'll mean I think it's wrong,
But I am sorry for all the times I was wrong,
All the times I was too blunt, too short, too holier-than-thou, too.me.
I'm sorry for being me.
The sad thing is - I really, truly am.
But there's no one left to believe me any more.
I fucked myself over.
It's too late.