Dear God,
I know you're there, I hope you're there. Please just show me someday.

When I was younger, I would hear all my teachers and parents talk about self image, food issues, drugs, peer pressure, suicide, steeling, and sex. I never believed them and would always joke about it, laughing at how I thought it was fiction. But now I feel guilty at admitting that I was wrong and they were right.

I'm a liar, a bad friend, terrible daughter and sister, a thief, a cheater, and a soul dirtied by many sins. I have no one to blame but myself. It's me who did this and me alone. Now I must pay the penalty.

My friends and family both hate me. Do you hate me God? I know my worries, attitude, and stress are the cause of this. Now I want to take it all back, but that's not possible. The only way to fix it is to do it myself by cleaning up what I already started. The only question is how?

I want to believe that there is a God. I want to know that you are there always watching over me. I've heard of the miracles that you have worked and the people that you saved. Do you have the strength to cause a miracle soon, maybe one to fix a sinner that wants to be forgiven?

If you're there could you prove it? So far, you haven't for me. But if you are there, I know that you love, so hear me now God; I love you.


A sinner who wants to see the light.