Who am I?

Like many other people, I have yet to find who I really am. I find I am weird, goofy, and serious at different times, but I have yet to know who I really am. I realize I have family and friends to help me through these moments when my feet don't touch the ground, but it isn't as easy as that. My past has had a great influence and I believe it has affected my life today. Has it helped me for the worst or for the best? I'm not entirely sure, but sometimes it weights down on me, preventing me from being the best I can.

August 19, 1998 has been one of the most impacted dates of my life, something I can't and will never forget, Brad Vangundy. While everyone else was having a normal day of school, my school was mourning for the loss of a student, friend, and a friend's brother. If other people have gotten past this, why can't I? It defines a part of who I am and what I want to be. I cannot forget people in my past, every person I've met or held a conversation with is somebody I cannot forget.

I do know for sure that I am my own unique individual who will not follow the pack, but will lead. I am ready to fill the shoes and follow in people's footstep to understand what they are going through for that I am grateful. How am I grateful? I get to experience emotions that I may not have seen or been completely oblivious too. I will and can respect people even if they choose not to respect me. I will give them the same courteous attitude I give to my friends and fellow classmates.

There have been many incidents where people have talked behind my back, and that truly bothered me, but it doesn't any more. I tell myself every day I only need one person to feel good about myself, and that's me. Most people struggle to make it day by day, but telling myself that I'm the only one who has to feel good about myself and without listening to whispers or dirty looks I can accomplish anything I want. With this attitude I can keep myself going longer and better than before.

I am my own worst enemy, not someone whom I do not like, or someone whom does not like me, but myself. While others may see a great person, I can point out the flaws in myself, but with those flaws I can improve and work towards making my weaknesses stronger and healthier. Part of myself knows who I am, but the other part is oblivious. That's what high school is about isn't it? To find who you really are and what you want to do with your life?

I have only begun to figure out who I really am, and without my friends, and family, I don't know where I'd be. My friends may need a shoulder to cry or to even talk to, I will give them that shoulder, as they would do the same for me. Some days I am happy, some days I am sad or angry, but no matter what I know I have someone there to talk to or just to rant and rave.

I am very opinionated which can be a good and bad thing. When I believe someone else is wrong, I won't shout 'oh my god, you are completely wrong', I'll say, 'why do you think its that answer?' I will give them a chance to explain why they got the answer they did.

I am my own worst enemy, but also my greatest ally. I do not follow; I lead, I will not go lightly without my opinion heard or voiced, I am my own person and no one, not my worst enemy, family or friends can change that. I am unique as an individual and will fight for what I believe it. I am me.