Warnings- Yes there are warnings here... This story contains- torture, mental anguish (the best type), mentionings of rape I have rated this fic 'R' please honor this rating. I mean it.



Brittany sat on the old rickety wooden park bench gazing up at the night sky. The stars were shining with all of their glory making the sky an impressive dot to dot board. So far she had made a cat, book, a pacifier, and a face.

A gentle warm breeze ruffled the long blue hair causing some of it to fall upon her beautiful face. Absentmindedly she swept them away from her eyes hardly noticing when they fell back.

The sixteen year old's mind was on other things. Such as love. How she wished she knew what it felt like. Many nights she had laid in bed wondering and wishing that she felt the same way her best friend, Aiko, did with her boyfriend. Well, not when she was pounding him into the ground, but the other times.

To Brittany Valentine's Day was just another day. How many times had she cried on the last Valentine's Day watching couples give their sweethearts candy, flowers, or puppies. Envy had filled her beautiful chocolate eyes as she watched a young girl, probably sixteen, hug her love after having received a red heart box that was filled with chocolates.

Oh how she envied Aiko. Not because she had Zach but because she seemed as though she did not know how lucky she truly was. Brittany had yet to feel the joys of love. How foreign that word sounded to her. 'Love' was an elusive mayflower. Maybe it would be something she would never catch. Something that she would never get to feel.

But she did want to feel it. Brittany wanted to desperately feel the love that Aiko talked about when they went shopping together. She wanted to know what it was like to receive flowers just because.

All the times that she worked at the front desk she would listen jealously to the teenagers as they told about their loves. It broke her heart to hear about how they would be missed so dearly. Often on days that she was alone she had wondered would she be missed as badly? Would anyone care if she never returned?

Sighing she lowered her head from the stars above. The sign that was used by poets and storytellers when they talked about love. How it hurt her to not feel such a thing.

Tired of feeling depressed Brittany stood giving a slight stretch. Slowly she turned and started to trudge back to Heaven's Hope. Maybe the paperwork would help keep her from slipping any further into her depression.

Or maybe the only answer for her depression was love. True love. Love like Zach and Akio, Kaden and Bailey.

Looking up at the stars Brittany's eyes scanned the sky. Smiling she quickly closed her chocolate eyes. She had found her target, a shooting star. Her star for no one else was here to make a wish upon it. Looking deep within her heart she made a quick wish.

Maybe it would come true some time. Maybe she would find her true love.


Sitting at the foot of his bed a red headed boy stared out of his window. Sleep was elusive tonight as his head raced. Thoughts raced through his head as he stared ahead.

Today he had almost died. If it had not been for his friends he would not have been sitting here now. But instead he would have been in a morgue cold and stiff.

There was something about staring death in the eyes that made it kind of hard to sleep afterwards. Or at least it did to Matt. He had so many that he cared for. What if he were to die? Would they know how much he loved them or would they continue on never knowing?

Matt lowered his head and closed forest green eyes. He was so tired yet unable to sleep. Oh how this life had weakened him.

Smiling slightly he shook his head. Maybe he was just getting to old for this. Silently he wondered what Jordan Knight, their 'life counselor', would say if he were to quit. Well at least after throwing a fit and threatening to banish him to jail for the rest of his natural life.

What would his friends say? That was an easy one to answer, a simple curt "Hn, stupid idiot. Don't tell us your getting soft."

Opening his eyes tiny slits he thought hard. Why was it that he stayed as working at Heaven's Hope. His probation was up. No longer was he bound to Jordan Knight, and his rules. He was free to live his life as normal as possible. Yet he still came running whenever there was trouble.

Why was it?

Was there something holding him back?

If so what was it.

Squeezing his forest green orbs shut he thought hard. Matt emptied his mind and thought about what kept him from leaving.

All he could see was a blue haired girl. With a bubbly personality and a love for life.

Was that it? Was that what kept him from leaving?


Ok so how was this for a beginning. Don't worry all questions will be answered in the next chapter- like who are all these new people, what's Heaven's Hope, why are they working there, ect.

Now before you all go "Awwww a love fic...blah, blah..." You should know I don't just write love fics. With me if its gonna have love in it there's gonna be some angst. And this is no different. I mean look at the warnings above. -points to the top- Does that seem like a love fic?! Yes love's gonna be a big part but if you do not like angst then please either read but don't flame or leave.

Ok I don't know if any of ya care about this or not but if your wondering what the name Aiko means- it means 'Little Loved One' in Japanese.

I have this story under my ff.net penname too, it's a little different though.

Please read and review... the next chapter should be out soon.