She sat alone, away from everyone else, leaving no one to judge her. Her silvery
grey eyes were crystallised with pain, Lines on her forehead indicating her
constant frustration with life.
Her thinly plucked eyebrows mis- matching her ruby red hair.
Her thin lips pursed tightly together. She hardly talked but when she did, a tongue
ring was shown daylight.
The lunch bell rang. It meant nothing to her, everything meant nothing to her. It
Hadn't always been this way. People scattered, off in their pretty little groups of
friends. She looked up and caught the teacher's disdainful eye. The under paid,
moody, middle aged woman glared at her and left the classroom. Quartz shook her
head and slowly rose from her chair. Her purple varnished nails scratched along her
maths folder as she clutched it in one arm and slung her black school bag over one
shoulder. She wandered slowly through the school halls and suddenly found herself
in the girl's bathroom. She dropped her bag by one of the four sinks and placed
her folder on top of the hand dryer. She glanced up into one of the three mirrors
that lined the murky green walls. Her reflection was eerie and the skylight threw a
shocking bright light down on top of her. She touched her cheek trying to
recognise herself. She looked unhealthily pale and her heavily eyelined eyes made it
look as though she hadn't slept in months. In truth she hadn't. She glanced at her
body, she felt so fat, He'd loved her body, he'd said that she was beautiful. She
hated this uniform that entrapped her. She felt like ripping it off slowly in strips.
She took a deep breath and touched her hair. She felt like cutting chunks out of it.
He had always touched it when he kissed her. It had fallen to her waist, now it sat
uncomfortably on her shoulders with her natural blonde roots shoving the red aside
slowly but surely. She brushed some hair behind her ear and caught sight of her
wrists in the mirror, her shirtsleeve letting them breathe for a moment. For an
instant her eyes flashed of the gashes, her painful control which had ran threw her
veins. She didn't blame him in a way, well in a way she did. Her thoughts on it all
were just too confused and her endless emotions crowded below the surface of
her soul. The endless echoes of the past rang in her ears as her eyelids tumbled
down to let out forgotten tears, every "I'm sorry", every " I love you!" and every
sweet sentence that had shown her a world of ecstasy resounded over and over. In
the sparkling blackness that was the backs of her eyelids, he smiled at her, his
eyes full of sincerity. She watched the tape of her interpretation of his death; the
impulsive thought, the razor blade, the blur, the moments slipping away into a pool
of blood like rain dripping down a window pane into a puddle with the wish held deep
inside her that his last thought was of her. Her eyes always opened at this
moment, almost on cue. She took a deep breath letting her pupils readjust. With a
cubicle door locked behind her, she went through it page by page;
"Dear diary. If
I loved him I'd know now right? What of the paranoia that a
moment in love can feel too perfect and the theory that things can
only get worse-" She slowly tore out the page and let it fall gradually out of her
grasp into the toilet bowl. She watched the water envelope the paper's fibres and
the ink run from it's prison letters to the corners of the page. She did the same
with a few others, with every page symbolising pieces of herself and the pain began
to eat away at her. She closed the diary and laid it on her knees. Her back leaning
heavily against the wall beside the toilet bowl. Memories always hurt, people always
leave, no one really cares. She held her face in her hands and whispered these
three sentences over and over.
It felt like an eternity until the bell rang to end lunch. She peeled herself off of
the floor and ate the pain, at least for another three hours. Then it was home to a
different pain. A pain inflicted by a human being who degraded her, taunted her
and made her life what it was. Her mother, the only other person who partially
existed to her.
The rain was light and refreshing, yet it shouldn't have been, it was the end of
October and autumn should have had full reign. Their relationship was fresh,
new and light. They'd met only months before but always felt as though their
past and future had been spent together and their present was just a limbo of
fun and a step in building trust between persons. Quartz hummed and blinked
uncomfortably as the raindrops weighed on her eyelashes. She trudged slowly
beside him. Her long blonde hair cascading down her back, drenched with rain,
a pink skirt with black tights and boots clung uncomfortably to her along with his
trademark 'Nirvana' hoody. She'd always loved to wear it, as it stank of him and
it felt so good to have him all over her, even just his smell. "Matt" She smiled,
stopping in her tracks and waiting patiently for his attention. He turned to her, his
dark hair wet and cutely drooping down his forehead. His murky green eyes
holding enthusiasm and love for her. His black T-shirt clinging to him, along with
his also trademark baggy jeans. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice deep with curiosity.
"Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? She asked and moved closer to
him. He hugged her. The rain continued to sprinkle lightly on them as though
from the nozzle of a shower hose. He looked down at her, watching raindrops
drip down her cheeks like tears. "No," he said, "But I'd love to see what all the
fuss is about!" their eyes met each other, and closely examined every part of
one another. Their hug returned again for a few minutes. Quartz looked up at
him. "Matt, kiss me!" her grey eyes screaming with the want and need of him.
And Matt kissed her. She tasted like the rain and she felt like the rain. The beauty
of the feeling felt was indescribable. She'd wanted to kiss him since their first
meeting, But the waiting had made it all the more intimate.
The rain fell on them and around them, the special effects to one of the best
movies ever created. And the night closed in around them.