Some twisted betrayal, unknown
I don't know what is going through my head
Half the time I feel like this twitching
Is some kind of animosity
Towards a part of myself
I do not understand
What makes me so vicious to those I love
And those I hate, I do not even
Understand why people react with such
Inherent extremism to me: love or hate
Is so difficult to bear.

I wish I could fathom some way out of this darkness
That seems, confusing and bewildering, to
Envelop me day in, day out, influenced
Too much by the words of others
(Or so you say, insensible)

Will you ever realise what this is in my head?
Will you ever understand that one genius must die,
One messiah, for the good of an ideal?
What is your claim? What have you earned?
Had you seen half the things I have,
A holocaust in grey, a few casual atrocities,
The utter folly of everything that ever
Tried to care,
Had you seen this then you would
Hold your head down in shame, and you would
Curse yourselves, simply for letting me know
That you were innocent.
Innocence is of no use to me.

Everybody is a cynic, and painfully so,
This fury in everybody is a self-defence mechanism, simply
To engage the brain, to take
Our minds off
A simple question:
Why do you do this?

Please tell me why I am what I am, for I do not
Wish to know.