Things That Annoy Me
Hello! Welcome to Part Two, Chapter Three (confusing, I know) of Things That Annoy Me. By reading this, you are signing a visual contract that states I can come around play poker with your cats. If you do not have multiple cats, or in fact have no cats at all, then please see RE: Hefty bit of lead pipe.
The next subject I am going to be taking under my wing and then dropping out somewhere out in the Atlantic Ocean is that of Music. Now, I know its 'popular' to sledge rap artists for not having the talent to make it as singers, forcing them into their little R&B style boxes of craptacularness, and that's why I'm going to do the same. Capitalizing on popular opinions is fun.
Can I just start with Eminem? I know loads of people hate him, and this really won't be news, but you can't tell people how much rap sucks without delving into it, im afraid. Now, is it just me, or is Eminem white? Because I don't think he knows. I mean, to be fair, I'm sure he just hasn't noticed. He's very busy, writing and making all his songs and videos and even the occasional B-Grade movie, and maybe he just never passed a mirror? And never looked down, or looked at one of his CD covers, or never saw his own movie, or any of his video, or read a single review saying almost exactly what I'm saying now?
Next, I think I'll move on to Usher. What kind of fucktard releases two albums in one month? How about you pump some of your efforts into making a SINGLE ALBUM that doesn't make me want to gouge my fucking EYES out? Now, with respect, he does have an okay voice. But that makes it even worse! He doesn't fucking USE it.
Now, rappers generally do 'they thing' on one of the following subjects:
--- Money, how they like it, and how they have rather a lot of it.
--- Women, how they like them, and how they have rather a lot of them
--- Women, how they're total whores and can't be trusted
--- Women, how we should treat them well because they deserve it
--- Themselves, and the fantastic-ness therein.
--- The club.
Plus, everyone knows that rap was invented by white people. Black people just stole it, because black people steal things heaps often.
pause for effect
Ah, controversy. I like it. In conclusion, Rap is bad, I am good, and I'm not as racist as I may have just made you think.
PS --- Look for Part Three, chapter four (confusing, still), coming sometime in the next week! That's right; I'm going to write it even though I have work and Christmas to attend to. And you better be grateful. By God, you better be grateful, or strike me down now, God, strike me down now! Yeah, next week or so.
PPS --- Sorry about the six week delay in getting this part up. I… forgot.