[To Cohen: I Hate You, I Love You]


You bastard. You left without me?! Goddamn you; I thought you loved me. I thought that I would be enough to keep you here.

I wish I knew why I'm bothering to write to you. It's not like I can give it to you, since you abandoned me and all. Maybe I can just leave it somewhere and hope you find it...

Remember how we used to spend all our time in your car? I'd always rest my head on your chest so I could hear your heart beating and even though I couldn't look at you when I was like that, I could always feel you looking at me. Your fingers would be playing with my hair and you would just look at me in that way you always did. And when you told me you loved me, I knew before you said it because I could hear your heart racing and I just knew. I know I never told you I loved you, but my heart was racing too, and if I'd have tried to speak then, I might have had a heart failure.

You took your car with you and now I've got nowhere to spend my time, and since your car took you with it too, I've got no one to waste this time with.

I know I didn't talk enough for you, I know that, but I always tried. I've just never been much of a conversationalist. I'm trying though, I mean, look at me write! I'm a writing fiend! You said you loved me anyway, but maybe my lack of words made it too hard for you to keep loving me. Maybe if I'd have said more words, maybe one of them would have made you stay?

I hate you for leaving me, Cohen. But maybe if you come back we can lay in your car and maybe I can say something to make you stay. Maybe if you come back we can lay in your car and I can tell you I love you. Goddamnit Cohen, I love you.