I've spent so damn long
hating myself
I was always too fat
My face was always too ugly
I was always too tall
My hair was always a mess
I was never satisfied
I hated myself
I was never good enough
I never received the perfect grades
I could never make anyone happy
I was just one big disappointment
I ruined every thing I ever cared for
I hurt everyone that ever mattered
I could never be perfect
I was not even worth loving

Now I've lost the weight
and I'm no longer ugly
but I still hate myself
and every moment of my life
I begin more used to hating myself
I can't even remember what loving yourself is
and I'm becoming so used to this hate
but do I want to hate myself forever
or do I want to change?
Do I want to be self-loathing forever
or should I try and fix my flaws?
It's so easy to hate myself
but is it really what I want?
Do I want to be this person
or do I want to be some one worthwhile?
Do I even know what I want?