Bloodshot eyes

And tear tracks crisscrossing

Freckled cheeks

This is me…

Who can write

But doesn't feel or love or touched by anyone

This is me…

Who dispenses advice like gumballs

25 cents a piece

but can never do the right thing when the time comes

and I tell myself it's because I'm scared

because I don't want to lose what I have

but oh yes, the excuses are always there

popping out one after the other

none acceptable.

This is me…

who pretends to be righteous

and kind

but really, isn't

IT'S ALL A LIE

Stamped in bright red block letters

Across my forehead

But they can't see it because

They see only what they want to.

This is me…

Who says and does what I should

But secretly

I'm doing exactly as I please

"They'll never know,

I'll get away with it again."

And I do.

Who have I become?

I want to scream… my deep dark secret

Is how immoral, how uncaring I've let myself become

But they'll never know.

Isn't that right?

What if I shouted it ?

What if I shoved it in their faces?

What if I was evil

In a less sneaky way?

What if I let the truth out?

Would it do any good?

No… but tomorrow I have to do something

Before I drive myself insane

I have to be someone worth being

Someone, while not perfect, that always tries to do the right thing…

Because it isn't right,

To blame someone else

It isn't right,

To look down on others

It isn't right

To see someone being teased, and not step in

(even though I know what it's like)

It isn't right

To pretend these things aren't happening

Because ignoring them and blaming everyone else is just as wrong

As being the cause of every wrong in the world

I can't stop it all

But I have to stop running from the pain that I see

Turn around and stand up to every fear I thought I'd never conquer

And learn to live a truth

Instead of a lie

This is me…

And I can't stand myself.