'Talk to me'
You say
Your voice
Happy and gay
I smile
A fake smile
Hoping
You can't see right threw it
'I don't have anything to say'
I answer going back
To my book
'Nothing in that head of yours?'
It's times like these
I wish I could
Run
Hide
Fade
Disappear
'Nothing that's makes sense'
I reply
As thoughts of
Hiei, Raven, Mouse, Rashika, PoisonIvy,
Pheonix, fire, Hell, cutting
All dance through my head
'Tell me anyway'
You say eager to hear me speak
'Rock is fake'
I point out in a fake cheerful voice
As I nod towards a fountain
'YES! Amazing what people can do!'
Sighing with relief, you say these words
Disgusting
Thinks I
You pounce upon my words like a
Starving man noodles
'Jessica! Tell Abuela about your new shoes!'
My mom interrupts
With a silent sigh
'I got new shoes in Maine'
'Really?! Tell me about it! Did you go to New Hampshire too?'
I shrug
'It was okay. I'm not sure if I went to New Hampshire'
But you continue like I
Didn't answer
'How's school? The kids? The bus?
The teachers? The boys? Any crushes?'
You ask trying to keep me talking
'Okay, all of it's okay.'
Like I would tell you about Chris!
I think as I walk off
'Jessica! Come take a walk with us!'
Yells my mom
'Fine'
I answer knowing I
Have no other choice
'You're a teenager now part of the Young Ladies'
I want to laugh
My Grandmother and Mom
Young??
'What happened to the girl who never stopped smiling? The girl who never
stopped talking? The girl who knew everything?'
You ask
She died
I think
My depression killed her
The Jessica you
Knew
Is
Gone
I'm a look-a-like
Senko
Took over