"Nothing I Expected, More or Less"

So, here we are, back at square one all over again

How are you? Been awhile hasn't it? (I missed you...)

A few words and my carefully planned world is undone

You think it's so great to waltz back in my life

Still an idiot? Still a bitch? (Why are you back...)

Piece by piece the walls come crashing down around

Don't know quite what to think as my heart quickens

I'm after someone. Still single though? (Don't do this...)

Years of repressed memories come crashing full force

Stop causing false hopes and dreams to form in my mind

Yes, single, why? Don't get ideas. (My chest aches...)

Why won't my heart stop pounding, my breath hitches

It's been too long, too many years, too many nights

Do you want me? Yeah...I do (You bastard, I hate you...)

Five and a half years of waiting come down to this

Why, why now, runs through my confused thoughts

Don't play with me! I'm not. (I can't breathe...)

Three years ago you made me shed tears, not this time

I can not, I will not, but everything else screams YES

Why now!? I was afraid before. (Don't cry, no crying....)

Suspicions, paranoia, this will take a huge leap of faith

You've hurt me before. I should give no second chances

I think I want this. Me too. (Why is it always only you...)

God, don't make me regret this one day down the road

Where do we go from here, we have no idea what we want

What now? I don't know. (But I'll stand by you anyway…)

No plans for the future yet, but everything's okay now

The regrets are useless, that was forever ago

Out of the blue, point blank, caught by surprise

Figures. I wouldn't have it any other way…

AN: It's free verse obviously. Based on my boyfriend and me. Of course, this situation developed over the course of many days, not just thirty lines of poetry. Five and a half years of denial and nearly three years of not talking to one another…must be a record. Just trying to capture some of the insane, impulsive, and angsty emotion when you care about someone this much, even after so long. Reviews would be much appreciated. Gracias!