Why Insurers Can Suck My Non-Existent Balls

Teenagers are no ray of sunshine, I'd know, if anything I'm that disturbingly large drop of rain which splashes onto your innocent piece of bread at that Summer barbeque. I'm 17, I'm dominated by hormones and the urge to say "what" instead of "pardon" just to prove I'm not my mother's minion. But on the up side, at least I'm aware of my immature and idiotic teenage tendencies; though it would seem that so is my insurance agency. Which brings me to my point: insurers can suck my nonexistent balls.

I have my learner's license, so yes, I am about as lethal on the road as an eccentric blind man with a flame thrower. I didn't think though, that my inexperience and lethality would be cause for my insurance company to say, "Gee, you know, you're high risk, not only are you under 25 but you also only have your learner's. So, we'll insure you alright, but you have to pay the first $2000." EXCUSE ME!?! Do I look like Bill's Gates' daughter? Do I look like I have parents who would be understanding and kind enough to give me money I DON'T have for damages that may come of a crash? NO, NO I DON'T YOU BASTARDS! The majority people my age don't have that money, and if they do, it's because they are saving up university, a course, or moving out. I think insurers forget that teenagers ARE THEIR FUTURE, and damnit, we'll let them die if they piss us off. Afterall, the majority of them will want the pension when they retire right? Well they should show us some damn respect then; we don't have that money, and chances are we'll still be paying it off when we are supposed to be paying for their Viagra supplies during their golden 90s. $2000 is ridiculous! Haven't they ever heard of Murphy's Law? The majority of teenagers who will have a crash will probably have damages of $2001 dollars, "oh score! The insurance company will pay ONE DOLLAR of my $2001 debt!" This is bullshit, utter bullshit.

Boy racers need to die. They are one of the reasons teenagers have such crap covers by insurance agencies. If they didn't allow their testosterone to consume them and race around the streets at night, running over randoms, and causing noise at such high decibels they could be likened to a newly wed couple on Valentine's Day, teenagers might not be so mistrusted.

I'm so angry. How am I supposed to have confidence on the roads when I know if I cause a crash, I'm screwed? I may as well cancel my insurance claim and wrap the car up in bubble wrap.