I'm so fucking tired of doing this
over and over again
this cycle that never has an end
it's like everything we fight for
all the work we do
is futile because nothing
will ever work out
can't we just be happy for one fucking day
why does everything always go wrong
why is the world not content
unless its blowing up
in our faces
I just want this to work so bad
I want this to work more than anything
because you mean absolutely everything to me
and I know that you love me too
in whatever way you can
but I just never seem to be satisfied
and I'm always doing this to you
I'm always ruining everything
and I don't mean to
and I cant really help how I feel
how my past has effected me
and the person I am today
All these emotions that I feel
are impossible to escape
if I could be happy with how things were
believe me I would
I try so damn hard just to be happy
but it never seems to work
and I can't keep it inside
I wish I could
then maybe we could be happy
and enjoy our love for more than a moment
and then the world wouldn't explode in our faces
but I just
I can't help it
I can't change who I am
and I wish I could
I tried so damn hard
but I can't change
and I can't forget
and maybe we're fighting for nothing
maybe the inevitable will happen
and we will finally give up
but I don't want to
I don't know if all this pain and fighting
can ever be worth
the momentary happiness you give me
but I love you so much
and I cannot imagine my life without you
so please, please
don't give up on me just yet