mother, my dear mother
it will be fine
always those words,
always there for you
from me
your rock-
never ending, never changing
always strong
there for you
or so you think
or so you wish
but I'm not
who you think I am
I'm no rock
just a shadow of one
hoping to seem
so strong
that it will be
don't expect me to be
who I'm not
even tho I try to be
some one else
but not for you
for me
to stay strong
to stay whole
and not shatter
like a delicate glass falling
like salty tears
onto black pavement
I'm no rock
I can't hold you up
and not fall behind
I'll be crushed by
your wants
your needs
your shadow hiding me
from the sun,
the sky,
the world,
you come first
you decide
you control me
with your invisible puppet strings
and I'll love youbut with so wrong a love
so wrong to be
like me
in such a way that
I cannot live for
anyone but you
so I fear to be for anyone else
as I have know not but your touch
not but your needs
your clinging arms that dig so deep
they hurt my soul
and freeze it with your icy touch
no this is not lover this is not happiness
this is hate in the worst degree