The search for the Lochness Monster

One day when Robert and I were talking about what kind of careers we wanted to go for, I mentioned that I wanted to be a mechanical engineer and cryptozoologist, so that I can build robotic vehicles and use them to hunt down creatures such as Bigfoot and the Lake Champion monster. We imagined what it would be like if I had succeeded in those careers and had Robert as an assistant as I search for the most elusive monster of them all: the Lochness Monster.


"Okay, Robert," said Tracy. "You ready?"

"You bet," replied Robert giving a thumb's up.

The two of them climbed into their respective subs, which were built to resemble Warsharks from an Anime called Zoids. They dived down into the murky waters of the Loch and turned on their searchlights. As they "swam" through the water, Robert's sub bumps into a wall with a texture that resembled dinosaur skin.

"Uh, Tracy," he uttered nervously. "I think I ran into a rock."

"A rock?" exclaimed Tracy. She took out her book of cryptozoology monsters and searched through it. "Rock, rock, rock."

Suddenly, a reptilian face appeared before Robert's sub.

"Uh, Robert," said Tracy. "Does the rock has any other features?"

"Eyes," exclaimed Robert, his eyes wide open with fear. "Eyes and teeth."

"Eyes and teeth," reiterated Tracy as she flipped through the pages. "I don't see any rocks with eye and teeth."

As she continued to look through her book, the monster began to chase Robert all over the Loch.

"AAAAHHH!" he screamed out as he maneuvered his sub to the surface.

After fifteen minutes, Robert finally surfaces the lake. He wipes some sweat off his brow thinking he has averted disaster. Suddenly, the monster raises its long-necked head out of the water and swallows Robert with one gulp, sub and all.

"Okay, I've gone nuts," he declared.

Inside, Robert found himself face to face with an old man.

"Hi," greeted the old man. "My name's Gepetto. I see you're new here."

Eyes wide with a combination of fear and surprise, Robert maneuvered his sub out of the monster and popped out the monster's posterior in disgust. With a roar of anal pain, the monster dived back down into the water and disappeared. Twenty minutes later, Tracy's sub surfaces and swam towards Robert's.

"Aw, I was hoping we'd find the monster with my subs," she groaned disappointedly. She sees Robert's face filled with fear. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," replied Robert. He'd tell her what had happened but he really didn't want to relive every detail.

"Oh well," sighed Tracy. "There's always the Lake Champlain monster. Wanna go?"

Robert simply stared back at Tracy as if to say "are you fucking nuts?"