this isn't my best piece of writing but i had to get it out or it would'a poisoned me had i kept it inside me any longer than necessary.

in the first place

possible titles included:

why should i
fuck you, nana
alcoholic bullimic grandmother

but that would'a been mean.

why should i
waste my time
caring for someone who
doesn't give a damn about
anything except when happy hour's coming next,
sticking her fingers down her throat
to fit into the woman she was
50 years ago

(a woman that wasn't worth her weight to begin with)

why should i care
about a selfish bitch
who's clinging stubbornly to a
meaningless life only to
make everyone else around her
why should i care about you
when you don't give a
about anyone (but yourself)
about anything (but your alcohol)
about your 2-sizes too small pants
that make you look pinched and uglier
(you are an attractive woman, nana,
but on the inside
you are as black as rot)
or your religiosity.
hide behind the cross and
say that He forgives you so
it's ok.
(Jesus loves you)
well it is NOT ok.
He is dead
and we are all dying because of you.

(i would ask "where did my grandmother go?" but i am beginning to think that i never knew her in the first place)