The Religion I Follow: Islam (Draft 2)
Growing into a teenager, I am beginning to wonder; what is the purpose that I was born as a Muslim? Is it because you were supposed to have a teaching? Or am I, in a way, chosen as one of the followers of a right path?
The first time my 3rd sister taught me how to say Allah s.w.t, I was just around 4 or 5 years old. I couldn't say it right, eventhough I had heard the word countless times from my family. I remember asking my sister, what is that word? And she said, our God, who had created us all.
My parents taught me and my siblings on the teachings of Islam open-mindedly. They were not the type of parents who forced the "rules" on us. They were pretty much laid back, for instance though my sisters and I were advised to dress decently, we could decide when to begin wearing the 'tudung'. Because we were given a choice, we felt accepted and appreciated.
Now, at just a mere age of entering the teenage world, I really want to find out more about this religion that has guided my life, through the good and the bad. I know there are people who don't believe in God, but I really do. I never doubt His existence for even a second. At times roads get harder to pass, I know it's a test from Him and that He would be there to guide me. When I pray, I try to pray with all my heart, giving it all to Him, (although I have to admit it's kind of hard, sometimes).
After I read an essay by a Muslim girl, about her connection with Allah swt, in a short-stories website, I felt strongly inspired. She seemed to be very giving to Islam, and is proud she is a Muslim, and I was very happy to know that she feels that way. After reading her piece, I realized how proud I am, too, to be born and raised a Muslim.
Nowadays, it seems to me that Islam has become a religion that has lost all its respect from the public eye. Quite recently, I had a pen pal from the UK who I had, after many months of dreading to confess, finally told: I am a Muslim. And with just four words, she had closed the barrier between what I had thought was an honest friendship. For many months later she did not reply my letters, and finally, I gave up on her… For how could I accept a person, who seemed to accept me, at first, as her friend, but then seemed to run away from the fact that I am a muslim?
It made no sense to me, and I admit that when I realized that she wasn't replying my letters, I felt angry, hurt…even betrayed. Maybe I'm just a mereteenage girl who has not yet seen what true wonders life has to offer, what this world He had made has in store for me, but I had always, always, believed that our modern, sophisticated generation was open-minded and accepting, even about variety in religions. But my perceptions were proven wrong. Just like that, the world was ugly, and I felt so jaded. I asked myself, how can I learn to accept a world that doesn't seem to be capable of accepting who I really am?
I cannot help but think that so many people nowadays, blinded by their stereotypical way of thinking, believe that everything has to be superficial and obvious. Everything has to been seen, and it seems that it is forgotten that it is the heart that recognizes what is pure, and what is true. To me, that is my religion; Islam.
Perhaps I sound angry, just as narrow minded. Maybe I am not thinking about what other people are facing in their lives, I am too uptight in my own world and beliefs. Yet I also feel like every piece of me is shattered, and I feel stabbed. It hurts. Words of the spiritual poet, Rumi, come to me, " And if all roads end up in dead ends, you'll be shown the secret paths no one will comprehend…" These words help me realize that at the end of this lonely journey, there is light after all. And this applies to anybody, of any faith, who is also struggling for a way to be.
I have read and heard of individuals who fight so strongly for what they believe in. I know there are individuals who believe in God, and live life according to their religions, or beliefs. I hope to be more like them, and live my life based on what my heart believes is true.
A/N: I really like this one :) I send it to an essay competition and eventhoughI didn't win it (told ya i'm not so good in writing :p) I'm really glad I have this essay out as it's really what I'm trying to express :) Actually, I got inspired to re-edit it when my sister read it and told me to send it in -"just give it a shot". So, is it better than the first one? Because honestly, I think I matured in my belief and thinking in this one compared to the first one ;)
R&R please, it would be greatly appreciated :)
Oh btw, the part on the UK friend, it happened AGAIN. So there you go: twice.. how much of a hypocrite can people be? :s It amazes me though, to actually get to know them; they're really nice people, but I suppose not nice enough to accept me as a Muslim. Nevertheless, I am beyond the word proud that I am a Muslim ;)