I'm on a train

And the one that I have wronged

So long ago

I have not seen

For months.

The realisation

That I've felt so much for her

Bites into me.

Convulse from the heart:

I have felt this desperate longing

And unbearable poignancy

For so many

And yet

She still haunts my dreams

And makes it hard for me to sleep.

No respite in sleep tonight.

I hope, my love, you never

Turn into Blanche Dubois.

I see you in my thoughts

Debauched

Among drugs and vodka

And hordes of drunken,

Stupid, hopeless men

Who know nothing of the romance

Of which we were so fond.

My lover, please do not

Regret such romance:

You kept me alive

And I gave you faith

And corrupt psychosis,

Unjustified paranoia

Ruined me

And made me implode a little further

And here I sit

On a train

And I ask myself

What am I doing?