I'm on a train
And the one that I have wronged
So long ago
I have not seen
For months.
The realisation
That I've felt so much for her
Bites into me.
Convulse from the heart:
I have felt this desperate longing
And unbearable poignancy
For so many
And yet
She still haunts my dreams
And makes it hard for me to sleep.
No respite in sleep tonight.
I hope, my love, you never
Turn into Blanche Dubois.
I see you in my thoughts
Debauched
Among drugs and vodka
And hordes of drunken,
Stupid, hopeless men
Who know nothing of the romance
Of which we were so fond.
My lover, please do not
Regret such romance:
You kept me alive
And I gave you faith
And corrupt psychosis,
Unjustified paranoia
Ruined me
And made me implode a little further
And here I sit
On a train
And I ask myself
What am I doing?