A/N: Another story, god I never finished my other stories, anyway I hope you read this and review. I promise I will try to finish this story for a chance. I liked the first chapter, although it does not tell the reader much, but it's just an idea. So don't give up on this story just yet.
CHAPTER ONE- PARTY AT JIM'S HOUSE
It was a night of perfection, of calm and hazing thoughts.
I looked at this blank page, when will it get longer? When will I finished this chapter, this story, this unconcluded relationship that unites us?
It was a day full of emotions, krispy kremes, and uncountable amounts of soda, joyful smiles, jumping songs, screaming, and happiness.
I made my way to the big, green gate of the school on this Saturday morning. I was hand in hand with my best friend who was funny, secure, ally of my operations. I saw him playing on stage. His performance was the most amazing in all the school. "The Pallbearers" such an energetic band---Oblivion Song---Beautiful and deep--- Drummer--- love and pureness.
The final chore he played was my first heart beating. The crowd was clapping around me; my eyes were full with tears of joy. When will this get better? How long until I find the courage?
"Thank you"--- he said as he wasgoing way down of the stage, approaching to me, suppressing all the air in my body, altering all my nervous conductions, bombing all the blood in my veins.
He came near me, hug me and washed away all of my pain. The only thing I wished was that he would lead me to a new direction; conduct me to a better road. I will never let go of that moment, of that smile which will endure forever in my years to come.
"Brooke, it means so muchto me that you are here." He whispered thosemeaningful words to my ears, traveling through my mind. I love you. I love you. But I shouldn't say it. I should keep it to myself, always to myself. You'll never know, she must not know.
He kept walking, going to her, and squishing her so hard, so tenderly. Kissing her vividly in front of me; I don't know if I can hold on for too long anymore.
I was leaving; I didn't know if he would wait for my return, watched for my departure, I was nothing but a fragile thing. I was beginning to move through the messy crowd, the sunshine was blinding my eyes; maybe I should blame the sun. He was the one that left me so blind to notice that you will never change, that I'm never going to change for him. I will always be his supportive best friend, his counselor, and his agenda willing to keep learning new phone numbers. Nothing more, I will be just that, and I will keep playing that role perfectly, I will adjust to his dates, to his shows, to his sarcasms, to everything, but not today. So I was leaving.
"Broo where are you going?" You called
Don't turn around…
"Hey BROO wait"
"Wait, we are going to my house to celebrate."
Stop touching my arm Jim.
"I can't stay, I'm sorry but have a good time for me, and congratulate the guys would you?"
Don't give me that look please, stop begging me with your glances.
"Why do you have to go? I made all of this for you, and I'm not having fun if you don't come.""I had some plans, I forgot" I was a liar. "Bye Jim, you were awesome by the way." I finished as I turned around.
All I wanted to do was to escape from that place, start the engine, go forward, and take a different road for a chance, one that didn't conducted to him.
As I drove I looked at all the big buildings, all the traffic in the streets; Red light--forget. I noticed the palm trees giving some shadows to the houses holding on to a Christmas spirit; lights, Santa Claus's, dears, Snow mans.
Don't think about him anymore, don't.
I rolled down the window, felt the wind on my face.
How did it feel ? Do you feel alive now Brooke? Yes—I was lying to myself again.
Suddenly I found myself alone with the uncertainty of the direction I was taking, it left me breathless. I was wondering if I should go to his house. To his party, to see him getting drunk and making out with her? Should I have to stand for that all the Saturdays of my life? Or should I return to my home, to my boring routine, to my room full of corners that had something about him.
I took the left side, there's no way back now, I knew the way liked the palm of my hand… I knew exactly where it leaded. I was going home, I was approaching with every kilometer and I was almost there.
I arrived at last and I parked my car down of a palm tree; in there the sun couldn't blind me anymore. I could see my home, emerging differently from all of the houses I had seen. Not with any Christmas decoration. That's when I realize I was not at my house, I was at Jim's… but that's exactly where I wanted to go, to my home because Jim was my home.
I made my way to the door I entered quietly, no one had arrived yet. I entered to his room; it looked exactly like it did a week ago. The table was full with photographs about us, summertime, fall, spring events… but, where was winter? There was no winter, not this year, was that a sign? Should I let him go now? Am I to abandon his house, my home, my infancy, my innocence, our story? I'm a coward, I can't'.
Suddenly I heard the room cracking, a figure was in the entrance, that figure that had haunted and captivated me at the same time, but I knew he was just a silhouette, he was not real, and everything was just a fragment of my imagination.
"Broo, wow, you came, I knew you would, I sensed it. So… Did you cancelled your plans?" He asked as he looked directly into my eyes. It seemed like if he had penetrated into my soul so deeply that he had seen right through me.
I looked away quickly; I couldn't stand his brown eyes staring at me in that way.
"Actually they weren't important and I wanted to be here supporting you, just like I promised." I shouldn't let him see right through me, not yet.
"Are you okay? You look a bit—"
"Down?" I interrupted him.
"Yes kind of, is there something bothering you, you know I'm there for you, you can tell me anything." He wanted to know what's bothering me.
Okay here it goes; his immaturity, his childish games, his making outs in front of me, his sappy songs about us.
"I'm okay, just a bit stressed."
"Sure?" He didn't sound convinced, but he never is convinced.
I stood from his bed, in the one I had slept since I was seven.
"Yes, now let's go downstairs, shall we? I need to get myself something to drink."
We abandoned the room, and as we walked outside of it the illusion started to vanish as well. Up there was just us, my illusion, my only truth, my only wish, my only fear.
Down there was everyone else's; his girlfriend, his so called friends, his band.
Time was passing very slowly; I never felt so down as when I saw Pauline all around him. Jim was kissing her in a passionate way, I wondered what I was doing there, suffering with every kiss, and feeling a knife penetrating my lungs with every touch. But the thing that hurt the most was that I knew that all of that was entirely my fault. I knew exactly what was going to happen, that's why I was drinking.
Maybe alcohol wasn't the smart way out, but it was my only real escape at that moment that's why I drank one, three, five coups, then I lost the count.
Suddenly I felt two arms carrying my body so tenderly, so protectively, I opened my eyes, it was Jim carrying me up to his room, where it was just him and me, no one else, not even Pauline.
He placed me in the bed and covered me with a blue blanket, then he leaned forward and kissed me in the forehead.
"Good night" he muttered."Have sweet dreams"
I quickly sank into his words, and I follow his advice, I dreamt of him.