A.N.: This is an essay I wrote for English.

9/27/04

Rough Draft

A Fire in Us All

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."- Albert Schweitzer. What Albert Schweitzer says is true; my "inner flame" has gone out many times and is rekindled again by someone. I rely on many people to rekindle my flame, but of all the people I rely on, I rely on my mom the most for emotional help, advice, and school guidance.

Often times I find myself unable to keep up with life as it passes me by, the pressure builds up and sooner or later I feel fit to burst. Luckily, just when the pressure has reached its extremity, my mom is there to relieve me of all of it. Despite the problems she has, she lets me unburden myself on her, but the way I do it is not always in a very kind way. In spite of that, she's kind. My mom always manages to sympathize with me, even at times when it can be overwhelming, it's nice to know that someone cares for you in a way like that. I sometimes find ways of exaggerating things until they seem like one big veil suffocating me, and it's at times like those when my mom lifts the veil from over my head and helps me to realize that there is a brighter side to things. She's open-minded in the sense that when I make a mistake, I don't feel like a fool for doing it. In fact, I feel a sort of obligation to tell her my mistakes. When I tell her my mistakes, she doesn't dwell on it to increase my embarrassment. She reminds me of what would have been the better of my choices and leaves me to figure out the rest. That's the way my mom gives advice, and I find I need a lot of it.

We all get confused and lost at one point, our minds get muddled and we don't know what to do, and that happens to me a lot, but there's someone there to help unwind the tangled web of my mind. My mom is always there to turn to in bewildered times, especially now as I wonder who's idea adolescence was. When I was little, I would ask my mom for advice on how you know someone is your friend, and even now, I ask for advice on friends, only more elaborate questions. I rely on her for advice dealing with friends because I trust that she has been through the same type of situations before, but she has a way of letting me do the work and only giving me things to think about on the way. But her advice is not only limited to just friends, she often gives me guidance on life in general, especially at times when I feel pressured. Even though I sometimes describe her as a superhuman, she is still just a human being, and as such she gets stressed herself, but she always finds a way of taking time out of her busy life to show me that she cares. And there are some things she can often relate to.

School, for instance, is one of the things she can relate to, as she is taking collage classes. A lot of the times, I have trouble with math or something of the like, she's always willing to help, but she's also willing to admit she's no great scholar. Even with going to work and school at the same time, she makes it possible for me to succeed and just relax with friends of mine. She often describes some of the things she forgets to do with such humor; it makes it easier for me to laugh at my self, which is sometimes a great relief, an even bigger relief than advice. A great comfort is knowing that she actually cares what happens in school, and not just things that are assignment related. I can know without a doubt in my mind that my mom cares for me and doesn't find it a nuisance to listen to my "schoolgirl" complaints.

I depend on my mom to keep my fire burning. Were it not for her and her consistent encouragement, I'm not sure I would be able to do some of the things I do. It always helps to know that there will be someone to watch the fire through the night as you sleep, so to speak, and I trust my mom to do it. There's a light that burns in us all, we just need someone to fuel it.