The doctor closed the door to his office and sat behind his desk with a soft sigh. "Now, firstly, I have to warn you both that this is fairly new technology... and it's still a rare procedure, so there are risks involved."

"Like what? I won't be able to walk worse than I already can't?" Nathan muttered.

".. you could die." The doctor said with a stern look at Nathan, who quieted.

"..what are the chances of that?" Jamie was chewing his lower lip, hoping it was slight enough that he wouldn't be completely paranoid.

"There's a forty percent chance he could die."

"Jamie.. this is a lot of money.. m.. maybe.." Nathan whispered.

"F.. forty percent? That's high... I..."

"Possibly less, depending on his health. But there is a fifty percent chance you'll regain everything you had before the accident."

"Parents too?" Nathan muttered under his breath, but he was making comments to cover up the fact that he was purely and simply terrified.

"..level with us, Doc. Do you see Nathan coming out of this walking?"

The doctor looked Nathan over and sighed. ".. It's hard to say. He's fairly young.... I would give it pretty good chances."

"I want to walk, Jamie, but I don't want to die.. and I don't want to waste all your money.."

It'd been a long, long argument days earlier, starting after Nathan's parents (!) had left. Nathan had finally given in when he had seen Jamie crying. He was such a softie....

They'd gone to see Shawn and Marshall off at the airport a couple of hours earlier, and then gone to the hospital to talk with the doctor.

"I don't want you to die either, baby. I.. Doc, how many times have you performed this operation?"

"Six times."

"..and how many have been successful?"

Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Five."

"And the other?"

He looked at the two of them. "He died post-surgery. Others have had no effect whatsoever from the surgery."

"..Nathan, what do you think?"

"It's your money, Jamie."

"It's your body."

Nathan had listened in on the phone conversation where Jamie asked his parents to cash in six hundred thousand dollars in stocks and bonds. They hadn't sounded happy, especially when James told him the reason.

"...I.. I'll do it."

"Alright then." Jamie squeezed his boyfriend's hand.

"We can do the surgery tomorrow.. but it will take two months of rehabilitation."

"Whatever it takes."

"Good. We'll keep him overnight to prepare. "

"Can I stay here with him?"

"Of course. However..."

Nathan tensed. However? There was a however?

Jamie's jaw set. "..however?"

"...there are no visits allowed at the rehabilitation clinic for the first half of his stay there."

"W..what? Why not?"

"It's the same for everyone. This way, the patients are not distracted."

"..a whole month.."

"Yes."

"Can I call him?"

The doctor buzzed in one of his nurses to take Nathan to a hospital room. "Nurse, prep him for surgery in the morning." He looked back at Jamie. "Of course."

The nurse took hold of Nathan's wheelchair and wheeled him out of the room.

Jamie sighed. A month without Nathan? It would be like a month without... um.. something really not fun to go without for a month.

"You can stay with him tonight, but during the surgery, you'll have to wait in the waiting room. We'll come get you when it's done."

"Yes, Doctor."

The nurse helped Nathan into the bed and smiled at him. "Can I get you anything?"

He shook his head, still terrified. "J..Just my boyfriend." He said weakly. She went to retrieve Jamie, and he came in to sit at Nathan's side. "...just think. You'll be able to walk again..."

"If I'm not dead.." He was shaking all over, and trying not to cry.

"No. That won't happen, and I don't want you to say it again." Jamie's voice was firm, his expression resolute.

He nodded and closed his eyes, tears snaking down his cheeks. "I'm scared.."

Jamie's heart wrenched. "..oh.. baby..." He lay down and pulled him close. "...don't be scared. I'm here with you."

"I'm so scared.." He whispered, his voice quavering. "If I die... I'm so sorry.. I love you..." Nathan trembled helplessly in Jamie's arms, breaking down into quiet sobs.

"Shh... you won't die. I won't let you." The blonde took his hand and laced their fingers together. "You're going to walk again."

".. but what if I don't?"

"I have faith in you."

He forced a teary smile. "You think I'll get a cool scar like Marshall's?"

Jamie grinned. "Why, you looking to pick up chicks?"

"Always." Nathan clung tightly to Jamie's hand and lay back down onto the bed.

"Rest, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The smaller boy nodded and closed his eyes, finally falling asleep.

In the morning, the doctors took Nathan to surgery but not before Nathan had kissed Jamie good-bye. He was put under before he was taken into the room.

James kept his composure in front of Nathan, but once he was wheeled into the OR, he broke down.

It was a long surgery, especially from James' perspective (Nathan really couldn't comment), but after hours in the OR, they finally wheeled Nathan out. One of the doctors walked over to where Jamie was sitting and touched his shoulder.

His eyes were red when he looked up. "..h..how is he?"

"He's going to be fine. He's still under, but he should be waking up in a while. He'll stay here for a couple days to rest, and then we'll move him to the rehab center."

"..so it.. it was successful? He'll walk again?"

"We can't say for sure yet. It's hard to say until he wakes up."

"But he's okay..?"

"Yes. You can go see him now."

"Thank you." With that, he went to visit his boyfriend.

Nathan was still fast asleep, and he stayed that way for a good couple hours. Finally, he began to come out of his drugged stupor, and he was aware of a vague pain in his lower back. "Nn."

"Welcome back to the waking world, sleeping beauty." Jamie said softly, stroking his hair.

Nathan managed a weak smile, his gaze drifting lazily around the room. He started to talk, but his throat felt like sandpaper. He coughed, and then felt the vague pain triple. He whimpered softly.

"Want some water?" Nathan nodded, breathing heavily from the pain. Jamie quickly got a little cup of water for him and found a straw, letting him have some.

He drank greedily, finally speaking after a moment. "My back is killing me." He looked at Jamie again. "Wanna fuck?"

The blonde blinked, then laughed. "You must be doing pretty well. Want me to get some pain meds?"

Nathan shook his head. "...I don't know if the surgery worked." He sighed. "Quick, go get a hammer and hit me in the leg."

Jamie bit his lip. What if it hadn't worked? Nathan would be heartbroken. "..I.. I'll get the doctor."

"Don't go."

"He needs to check you, baby."

"Stay with me."

"...alright." Instead of leaving, he hit the button for the nurse.

"... Touch my leg.. a..and see if I can feel it. Or grab my foot."

Jamie ran a finger on the bottom of Nathan's foot, tickling it. The brunette gasped and looked at his boyfriend wide-eyed, letting out a giggle.

Jamie blinked. "Y..you felt that?"

"Y..yes."

"T..that's great!" Jamie laughed and tickled his boyfriend's foot again.

Nathan yelped and tried to push himself up away with his arms. "Stop that!"

"Oh, Nathan.." The blonde sat down with him and hugged him tightly. "This is unbelievable..."

He laughed in disbelief. "This has to be a dream.."

"I knew it would work..." he said, kissing Nathan.

The doctor came in and checked Nathan out. He chuckled as Nathan giggled when fingers were run along the bottoms of his feet. "Looks like it worked."

"I love you, Nathe."

"I love you too... I.. I'm gonna miss you when I'm at rehab.."

"I'm going to miss you too. I'll call every day."

Nathan nodded and fell asleep again, still holding onto Jamie's hand.

The first month went by slowly, and not only did Jamie call every day, Marshall tried to phone every couple days to check up on him. He was calmer now that he was a married man, and seemed happy all the time. He had promised to bring Shawn along to visit when they could.

Finally, thirty days had passed and Nathan was allowed visitors. He was doing well with his rehab, and could stand on his own now, but only for a little while. He was still walking with a cane, and would be for a while.

However, for this visit, he was staying in his wheelchair. He wanted it to be a surprise for Jamie when he was able to walk.

Jamie had a bouquet of flowers for Nathan that was so big he could barely carry it, and had to turn sideways to fit through the door.

".... Are you in there?" Nathan raised an eyebrow and wheeled himself over.

"Somewhere in here." He put the huge bouquet down to properly greet Nathan. "I missed yo-- why are you still in a wheelchair?"

"It's comfy." He shrugged and pulled Jamie into his lap, feeling the heat of the other boy's body for the first time on his legs. His cheeks flushed, and his heart caught in his throat. "You feel so good."

"Oh, just wait, love." Jamie murmured, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him deeply.

Nathan purred and returned the kiss, sighing blissfully. "I missed you so much..."

"I missed you too..."

"Only one more month.. I'm getting better, but I won't show you."

"Whyever not?"

"I want it to be a surprise..."

"You're a goober," Jamie said with a smile. "But I love you."

"I love you..."

"I can't believe I'm expected to wait another 30 whole days to make love to you."

"We'll have to be patient.."

"Easy for you to say..."

"... We'll have lots of sex.."

"But it's so haard..." Jamie whined.

"I can see that."

"Brat, I didn't mean -me-."

"Its okay, I am too."

"..want me to do something about it?"

"Maybe I do.."

"Just maybe?"

"... well, what if the doctor comes in?"

"It's nothing he's never seen before..."

"Two guys fucking madly?"

"...well, maybe that."

"We'll wait, and it'll be all the more better."

Jamie winced. "..if you say so, love."

"I'm sorry. I just don't think it's right to be fucking in a hospital."

"Tell that to -him-," Jamie murmured, glancing in the direction of his crotch.

"Poor baby." Nathan nuzzled his cheek. "I'll have to apologize to him when I get back.. I just.. want to be fully recovered when we.. make love."

"It's okay... really." Jamie said, smiling and kissing him gently. "I'm a big boy. I can wait."

"You sure? Cause.. I could suck you off in the bathroom."

"..you make it hard to decide."

"I make it hard anyway, don't I?" He teased, laying his head on Jamie's shoulder.

"Unfortunately." Jamie held his hand.

"I really miss you.. maybe it'll be better if you don't come visit me, though..." He sighed.

"..what? Why?" Jamie blinked. That didn't make sense to him at all.

"I really want to focus on getting better... so.. I can surprise you when I'm done.. I'm getting better, but.. I .. "

The blonde sighed and nodded. "Alright. Do.. you want me to leave? Now, I mean?"

"No.. Stay with me today.. I .. Jamie.. when I can walk.. I.." He swallowed. "I want to get married.. I want to walk down the aisle with you."

James smiled and squeezed his hand gently. "..then that's what we'll do. Name the date, and I'll be there."

He nodded, squeezing back. "We'll figure it out when I'm out of rehab.. and.. even then, I'll have to come back.."

"It'll be different. Not as extreme." Jamie's heart was racing. They were really going to get married! He wondered if this counted as a proposal, repeating the conversation in his mind. It didn't really seem official yet. Good... he could make a big deal over Nathan once rehab was over. He grinned; he just couldn't help himself.

Nathan kissed Jamie's hand. "Get up, I want to sit in bed."

"Aw, but I was comfy," Jamie whined, even as he stood up.

Nathan gripped Jamie's arm tightly and used the side of the bed to help himself up, his legs shaking. He grunted, and leaned against Jamie, kissing him. He smiled weakly and used his boyfriend as a walker of sorts to get to his bed. "Ta-da.." He said weakly.

Jamie supported him all the way and smiled, kissing him gently. "I'm so proud of you..." he murmured. There were tears in his eyes.

"I've been working really hard..." He sighed and kissed him again. "Lay down with me? Ooh, or you could order me a big pizza dripping with cheese.. I'm not here for an eating disorder or anything. It'd be fine.."

Jamie climbed into bed with him. "Want me to? I can call. Or I could have Raquel make you something."

"No, don't worry about Raquel. " He shook his head. "I'd -love- a pizza.. And we could snuggle here and watch a movie on TV."

"If there's anything good on." Jamie pulled out his cell phone, then hesitated. "You're not supposed to use cell phones in places like this, are you?"

"It should be okay.. It's rehab, not a hospital... We're in room 20." He lay his head on Jamie's chest and closed his eyes. "Mm."

Jamie shrugged and ordered an extra large cheese pizza and a couple of Cokes to be brought to the room, then snuggled with Nathe. "Sleeping well here?"

"Yeah... but it's not the same... I miss sleeping with you in our bed..."

"Me too," he tried to hide the wistfulness in his voice.

"I'm sorry, baby.. I'm .. I'm really trying.. Just another month... and .. and then we can do a whole lot more together."

"I know. It's for the best that you're here." Jamie lay his head on Nathe's shoulder. "..it's just a little hard to get used to."

"You won't have to get used to it, Jamie.. and.. once I'm better, I want to move into the house my parents left me.. So.. you can sell your place.. "

His eyes glinted "And I can kick my aunt out.. She must've known.. that my grandma had to take care of me... that the house was going to be mine.. and she kicked me

out."

"Ahh, sweet revenge." Jamie smiled. "..but what about Raquel?"

"She can come with us if you want.. I'd miss her lasagna."

"Ooh, yeah. Maybe she can stop by a few times a week and make us dinner."

"Mmm... That sounds good." His stomach rumbled. God, he wanted pizza. And Jamie. Jamiepizza. Yum... "Wait til you see the place.. it's so cool looking and old and stuff... I think my ...adopted dad's dad built it himself. It's huge.. : Nathan laughed. "We could invite Marshall and Shawn to live with us and make it one big house of gay."

Jamie bit back a snicker. "Do you really think the four of us could all live togethere peacefully?"

"It's possible." He shrugged. "It's also possible that I could tackle Marshall just to hear him yell 'Bloody hell!'." Nathan grinned.

"I'd like to see that." He nuzzled Nathan lightly. "I'm glad he's loosened up."

"I wish I could've been there for the wedding. It sounded cute.. and if Marshall's other brothers are as hot as he is.. Mm. " He heard a knock at the door and squealed. "Pizza! It's here!"

Jamie pouted at him. "Hotter than me?" He asked, batting his lashes as he got up to get the pizza.

"Not humanly possible." Nathan looked at him adoringly.

He was bouncing on the bed. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.. "Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza..."

Jamie paid the delivery boy and brought the pizza to his impatient boyf--fiance! "Here, love. Eat up." He opened one of the Cokes and helped himself.

Nathan stuffed almost a full piece of pizza into his mouth, letting out a near-orgasmic moan. "MMPH!" His eyes rolled back and he managed to chew what was in his mouth.

"...I can't compete with that."

"Mmph.. fuu meh..." He murmured with his mouth again?"

He swallowed. "I said 'fuck me'. Not.. really, just.. Mm." Jamie pouted some more.

Nathan licked a bit of pizza sauce off of Jamie's lower lip and shivered. "I've got to be strong, you know. You're not supposed to be that sexy."

Jamie whimpered. "..you're not helping any, Nathe..."

"Sorry.. I'm trying.. If you lock my door, I can give you a blowjob."

He had another bite of pizza. "Mm. I know it's not.. mmm.. romantic or anything... but.."

"..I'll wait it out. If you can, so can I."

Nathan nodded. "Just.. don't wear me out my first day back." He grinned, and finished off his third slice. "God, this is so good.."

"I'm not promising anything," replied the blonde, with a devilish grin.

"I want to see the house again, after you're done fucking my brains loose." Nathan eskimo-kissed him. "We can drive by."

James squirmed a little. "...Nathan.."

"Sorry. I'm really not trying to turn you on."

"At this point, you wouldn't have to try very hard." Jamie was already thinking about which pornos he would watch when he got home, to help relieve some of his... frustration.

"I'm sorry.." He sighed and kissed his cheek. ".. Maybe you should go early, if I'm going to get you all discombobulated."

"Too late."

"But I got to say discombobulated, so it wasn't a total loss."

"Always a plus, getting to say big words like that."

"I love you.. and I'll see you soon?"

"...as soon as you get out." Jamie reminded him. That wasn't soon enough, in his opinion.

"Right. One more month.. I hope."

"..of course one more month. What do you mean 'you hope'?"

"I'm getting better, Jamie, but.. I.. if I'm not better when the month's up, I might stay another week."

Jamie was disappointed, but tried to mask it. "Well, what's one more week, hm?"

"I'm sorry, baby.. I'll call you when I'm ready." He kissed Jamie good-bye and sighed softly.

Jamie shivered and pulled his coat tighter around himself as he walked down the street to the parking deck where his car was parked. He was excited and depressed and relieved and worried all in one, and it was killing his stomach. He sped home so he could take a nice hot bath and have himself a nap.

There was a message on the answering machine from Marshall, asking how the visit

went, and inviting Jamie to dinner the next evening. Jamie listened to the message as he was drying off, but he was too sleepy to call now. He'd do it once he'd gotten up. He was so sleepy... the next thing he knew, he was asleep on the couch wearing naught but a towel.

Slender fingers tangled themselves in Jamie's hair, and a sad voice murmured "You look so much like him.."

Jamie stirred and cracked open a sleepy brown eye. "Nn..?"

"I didn't mean to startle you." The young man said, standing up. He looked almost like Nathan's twin, only.. sadder, and maybe a little older.

Immediately, Jamie sat up. And his towel fell off. He turned an impossible shade of red and quickly pulled it back up to cover him. "W..who are you?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." He managed a tiny smile. "I.. I just wanted to see you. I miss him, is all. I'll go. I'm pretty sure Matt and Sean have been doing this too. Knowing Matt and Sean, they're taking this chance to have sex in someone else's dream."

"..what the hell are you talking about?" Jamie was freaked out beyond compare. Sure, this guy didn't look intimidating, but... where'd he come from? And who were Matt and Sean?

"It's a long story.. do.. you believe in past lives?" He sat down on the edge of the couch cushion.

The blonde scooted away to the other end of the couch as far as he could. "M..maybe...? I.. I don't know... what's this about?"

The other man sighed. "In a past life. You and I were lovers."

"..you've got to be kidding me."

"No.."

"..that.. that doesn't make sense. How... wait, no... am I dead?"

"No. I am. You're just dreaming."

"..but you just woke me." Jamie was confused.

"Dreams are tricky things." The boy shrugged.

"..how do I know you're telling the truth, and you're not some nutso who gets his kicks by sneaking into people's houses and scaring them?"

"How would I look so much like Nathan if I was doing that?" He gave Jamie a look. "Or I could say that you met when you were volunteering at your father's soup kitchen against your will."

Jamie stared at him. "..h..how do you know that?"

"Because I saw it.. I saw him enter, and you two ended up screaming at each other.. and then he got beat up and he fell out of his chair and hit his head on the pavement and you took him to the hospital.." The other boy smiled sadly and looked at his lap. "And you stayed there with him for days, until he woke up."

James shivered. How did he know all this? Could he really be telling the truth? That... was impossible, wasn't it? "...and we argued even then."

He laughed softly. "I know. Jake and I had our share of arguments.. We even called off our engagement once.. "

"..who's Jake? Is he.. me?" He wasn't going to admit that he was beginning to believe the other man. He was just curious. That's all.

The other man nodded with a soft sigh. "Yes.. I can't see him yet.. so.. I just gave in and came to see you."

"You can't see him?"

"No. He's.. being punished.. He killed himself."

The blonde blinked. "..he... what? Why?"

"Because I died.. he killed himself the same day." Jamie shivered. This conversation was so... well, morbid. "Sorry. This is a morbid conversation."

"Yeah, it is." He paused. "...so what's your name? And who are Matt and Sean?"

"My name is Nathaniel.. Nathaniel Gordon, if you wanted to look it up." He smiled a bit. "You know Matt and Sean.. except you know them as Marshall and Shawn."

"...this is unreal."

"I know."

"So we're all connected?"

He nodded. "Take good care of him, James." Nathaniel stood up.

"You're leaving? But.. I have questions..."

".. I don't have very long.. but go ahead.."

"...he's going to be okay, isn't he?"

"Yes.. as far as I know.. just.. be careful, because he feels really guilty over you spending that much money."

"He shouldn't... I love him."

"He does.. he's scared that if you leave him.. he's going to be left with that guilt of you spending so much money on him."

"I would never leave him."

"I know. But.. he's afraid, nonetheless."

"We're getting married."

"I know. Congratulations."

"Thank you. I want to give him a proper proposal though..."

"He'll be better soon enough. You can do it then.. " Nathaniel smiled. "Any more questions for me?"

"...will you ever get to see Jake again?"

"I.. hope so."

"But you don't know for sure?"

He shook his head sadly. "No."

"...Then you can come see me any time."

"Thank you.. " He kissed Jamie's forehead. "But it hurts a little seeing you.. It was nice meeting you."

"..It was nice meeting you too. One last question before you go..."

Nathaniel nodded and waited for him. "You should hurry. It's almost time for you to wake up."

"...Can I mention you to the others?"

"I think the others already know.. except Nathan. As far as I know, he hasn't had any of these dreams."

"...Alright. Take care then, Nathaniel. And good luck."

Nathaniel nodded and disappeared as the phone began to ring.. It was Shawn this time, phoning to check up on him, with Marshall and Aaron arguing about alfredo sauce in the background... Marshall called out to ask if James was coming for dinner.

"Oh... Shawn. Hey." He still sounded groggy. And what was that dream about anyway? Was that for real? "Yeah... I'd love to come over."

Shawn smiled. "See you in an hour then. Don't be late... Marshall gets anal." He paused, and giggled. "Bye, Jamie."

"Bye, Shawn," Jamie said, shaking his head.

Nathan slept fitfully, feeling horrible about sending Jamie away.. now he wanted to take it back, but he knew he needed to get better .. for Jamie.. and for himself.. he had to get Jamie's money's worth. He sat up suddenly and saw someone else in the room. He gasped and reached for the call button.

"Wait. I.. I only wanted to see you," said the figure. The voice sounded... somewhat familiar.

Nathan hesitated, but set down the button. ".. Jamie?" He asked, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"...I'm not Jamie."

Nathan reached for the call button again.

"Wait, please.. I..." The man stepped into the light where Nathan could see him

Nathan dropped the button. "You were in my dream.." He gasped softly. "You were arguing with someone else.."

Jake stopped in his tracks. "..my God. You.. look exactly like him.."

"Him.. the guy you were fighting with?" Nathan felt uncomfortable, but was pretty sure he was dreaming. "Who are you?"

Jake looked slightly disappointed. "You.. can't tell?"

"...No..."

The other man sighed. "..my name is Jake. I... I loved you once." It was obvious he was struggling to contain his emotions.

"I.. I've never met you before, except in that one dream.. i'm sorry.."

Jake walked closer, his eyes full of tears. "I can't see him..."

Nathan looked nervous. This man obviously wasn't all there.. and he was becoming less and less sure that he was dreaming. "S.. see who?"

"My Nate..."

"I... I'm not your..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Jake had kissed him. His tears slipped down his cheeks onto Nathan's, but he didn't pull away for several long seconds.

Nathan went very, very still. He could feel the warmth of the other man's tears, and of Jake's lips. "N..Nngh." He grunted, trying to get him away. "What are you doing?"

"..I'm sorry.." Jake pulled back, taking a few steps away from him. "...I miss him so bad..."

"Who!?"

"..Nathaniel." He spoke the word as though it were a prayer, a sacred word never to be defiled.

"I.. I don't know who you're talking about.."

"..You were him."

Nathan stared at him for a moment and then pressed the call button repeatedly, but no one came. "Fucking dream." He muttered to himself.

"...in your past life. You were him... and Jamie was me."

"Look, I.. I don't believe in that kind of thing.. j.. just leave, please.."

"Then explain your dream."

"... I.. it's just a dream." He said, shaking his head. "I had a dream when I was little that purple elephants were dancing with me. Explain that one."

Jake sighed softly. "...he loves you. Cherish that. Don't take it for granted that you can be with him."

"... I won't.." He said quietly.

The blonde wrapped his arms around himself, his voice soft and sad. "..I'd give anything to see him again. To touch him..."

"...why can't you?" Nathan asked finally. Humor the crazy.

"..When he died, I killed myself. Now I'm being punished for it."

"Oh." He wasn't expecting that answer. "So if I'm him, or he's me.. whatever.. was he a cripple too?"

"..no. He.. he was a dancer. A wonderful, graceful dancer. He was with the New York State Ballet.."

"Great. So I'm stuck in a fucking wheelchair for part of my life, and he's a dancer. That's fair."

"..he -was- a dancer." Jake sighed; he was getting emotional again.

"Then what?"

"He died."

"..Right." He sighed. "Look.. this is.. a really weird dream, most likely brought on by the heavy painkillers I'm using, but I'd really rather get back to dreaming about Jamie dancing naked in Jello pudding."

Jake looked down. His voice was barely audible. "..suit yourself." And with that, he vanished.

Nathan went back into a deep sleep, but there was a nagging feeling of guilt there. Maybe the dream was real. ....no. It couldn't be. Something like that would never happen..

For the next month, he exhausted himself trying to get better, and the day before he was supposed to leave, he was walking without a cane.. only for a little while, but it was progress. He couldn't take it anymore, though.. and didn't phone Jamie, choosing instead to go home and surprise him. He took a cab (he wasn't confident enough to drive yet) home, and snuck inside, leaning heavily on the railing of the stairs. He felt tired once he'd gotten to the top..

....were there always that many stairs? No, they must've added some.

Nathan peeked into the bedroom to see if Jamie was there.

He was, sprawled out on his side and napping. He was still fully dressed from running errands before, but his shoes were off.

Nathan gently rolled Jamie onto his back and straddled his lap, shuddering at the feel of the warmth. "Mm." He said aloud, leaning forward to kiss him. 'Wake up.."

"Nn..?" Jamie yawned and rubbed his eyes, opening them slowly and staring.

"Good morning, sunshine." Nathan took off his shirt and managed to get Jamie to wiggle out of his as well. "I'm home."

"Nathan..." Jamie instantly sat up and kissed him deeply. "Mm.. you're home..."

"I'm back for good.. And all ready to marry you.. Not now. We're going to have sex now, because it's been two months, and I'm horny as hell."

"Thank God."

"Less talky, more fucky." Nathan murmured, wiggling out of his pants.

Jamie was happy to comply, and immediately pulled off his clothes. It -had- been too long.

Nathan rolled onto the bed and pulled Jamie on top of him, wrapping his legs around Jamie's waist. "I love you. "

"I love you too, Nathe..." Jamie kissed him deeply, and proceeded to show him exactly how much he loved him.

Neither of them noticed the figure standing in the doorway, watching them make love.

".. Jake?" came a soft voice from behind him. "I never had you figured as a voyeur."

Jake sighed and shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. He'd watched Jamie and Nathan for several minutes, and he missed holding Nate like that so badly. 'Wonderful...' he thought. 'I'm going crazy... starting to -hear- Nate wherever I go.'

He turned to leave the two lovebirds in peace -- not that they'd realized he was there anyway -- and almost ran into Nathaniel. "...wh.."

Nate smiled at him. "Miss me?" He asked, that sad look in his eyes still there.

"Oh, baby..." Jake started to hug him, but stopped before they made contact. Was it allowed? -Could- he hug him? Or would there be repercussions?

"It's okay. You're allowed now.. Your punishment's over. Now come here."

That was all it took. Jake hugged him so tightly, had they been living, it probably would've bruised a couple of ribs. "..Nate.." His voice cracked, and he sniffled.

"Shh.." Nate stroked Jake's hair gently, tears rolling down his cheeks. He pulled back for a moment, punched him in the shoulder, and then pulled him close once more. "I missed you so much... I've wanted to do this for years.."

"I love you... I'm so sorry..."

"I love you too." Nate took Jake down to the living room and sat down with him, kissing him softly. "Jake.."

Jake was holding tightly to both his hands. He didn't want to be separated again. "...y..yeah?"

"Relax. I'm here now. I'm not going to let you leave me again.." He looked heartbroken for a moment. ".. Where did we go so wrong with our son, Jake?"

"..I can't answer that, love."

Nate shook his head, and just curled up in Jake's lap, not saying anything else. Jake frowned. This wasn't right. They were supposed to have a joyful reunion. What was going on? "I'm sorry.. I'm happy to be with you.. I am.. I just.. Airen turned out so wrong... He never married... he just lives alone...Miserable.."

"...I don't know what happened. We didn't do anything wrong..." Jake kissed Nate on the cheek, and his lips tingled from the long-forgotten contact. "...it's not our fault."

Nate looked at him for a moment, nodded, and kissed him hungrily. "I need you.."

Jake returned the kiss with vigor. "Mm... w..what if they see us?"

".. they didn't see you watching in the bedroom.. Besides, they're going to be busy for a very long time."

"..so are we."

Nate nodded. "We should go see Matt and Sean."

"........now?"

"Couple hours." Nate purred back. "Until then... You're mine."

Author's note: Yeah, it's a long one… but enjoy it, cause it's all you're gonna get for a month or two. I'm moving again, and I won't have a computer handy, so y'all will just have to wait until I get one back. Hopefully it'll be soon. Have a great rest-of-summer, everyone!