they said you died of cancer;
to me you died of pain.
we used to pretend we were princesses,
wearing cardboard pearls and crowns,
waiting for the River God to take us;
bravely facing fate by the longkang.
(though I knew he'd choose you over me)
we would walk to the bus-stop together,
you gliding; me slouching,
and your hair would cast shadows on your face
so you looked like you had high cheekbones
even if you didn't.
(maybe that's why they picked you for Miss Alma Mater)
at the chalet by the sea
they ogled your tanned bronze figure,
wasted a dozen lousy pick-up lines
and you ignored them although
later you admitted some of them were cute.
(but you chose to stay with me)
you were gorgeous; beautiful; enviable; admirable,
but cancer chose you instead of me
and now your raven hair is ashes,
your eyes are rain washed down the drain;
your yin has deserted you and
your yang is overbalanced.
or at least that's what the sinseh said.
but to me, you are still goddess-worthy;
the cancer fed on your beauty but
you will be Hades' queen,
resplendent still in death.
-kismet. 17th december 2004.
author's note: i've been busking with my friend at orchard road, singing our heads off for the childrens' cancer association. if you're a Singaporean, or happen to be in Singapore on the 21st (i think), do drop by orchard road and look for the Mad Hatters duo. it's for charity! some very nice people give us ten bucks every once in a while, but even ten cents can make a difference. so, it's the somethingGOOD campaign this Christmas. help the less fortunate! oh, and by the way, longkang is some dialect word for big smelly drain and a sinseh is a Chinese medicine specialist.