Self Worth At 19
Dancing tiptoe on this storm cloud
known as Washington
am I now
my hand across another man's cheek.
Falling sidelong across this moonbeam
known as my soul
with the top down
screaming in this rain storm
that I want a way out.
What I want...
What I need
can not grow its roots here.
Cowering ecstasy within the back of his shoulder
known as love making
heavenly with his heart beating against mine.
through this light
forever recognized as hate
all to foreign to these eyes
I just want a warm body next to me
at the thought of the dead weight that I'm carrying around
like a cross
and the ideal
"Who would Jesus bomb?"
would rather be an extension
within my flow
Foundering slightly underneath the idea of none-existence
because what else is there
and fall through
should I take on today
to let him kiss my neck in longing
rather then lust.
I look so good
inside my smile
in the fact that you know nothing about me yet.
Blinding innocence creeping across the floor like an animal.
However uncertain I am of this place
and the fact
that I'm allowing myself redemption
like fancy perfume
aged to perfection.
My teens meant nothing
blank reproduction of feelings
to keep me awake at night
with the notion of loving those people all of my life.
Naked aggression on a golden platter made of silk
for Christ sake I'm worth so much more then that.