I feel emotions rising in my chest.

The empty place near my heart is being filled in.

But I do not wish to lose the loneliness

That I have held so dear to me.

I look at him and want to break into a smile.

But my conscious tells me to hold my feelings back;

It tells me to restrain myself

So that I do not jump off of the cliff again.

But I can't help feeling what I feel.

And right now I want to scream from the pain.

The pain is caused by longing for something I can't have.

I long for love. I long for him.

-Laura Ellis (10-25-04)