Here we are

in my room

in my bed

so close

so near

every touch

ever caress

so pure and wanted

but my eyes are closed

and my mind is full

of things they shouldn't be when I'm

so close to you

so near to you

your hands and fingers

touching me

in such a passion

I can't ignore

I shouldn't ignore

but I am

and I will

because there's something else

someone else

on my mind

in my mind

and in my soul

so even though

you can touch my body

and look deep inside my eyes

feel deep inside me

you cannot touch where

someone else already has

and I cannot give you the satisfaction you want

the true satisfaction you need

not of body or mind

but your soul

will forever yearn for more from me

but I cannot give

which I have already

given away

to someone else

and so here we are

here I am

pretending that you're soft

touch

is not you

but someone

else

here we are

so deep

so passionate

here I am

as I pretend

that you're skin

is dark

you're eyes

wide

you're hands

rough

not soft, like they are now

I'm pretending

that this fire you build in me

is not from the flame you hold for us

but the flame I hold for someone else

and that this passion and want

I feel

isn't real

and only my imagination

bringing him to my mind

and not you

so that in the morning

I won't feel anything

that I won't feel

that guilt

that pain

of hurting him

of hurting you

and being selfish

so selfish

so get me off

as I get you on

and things will be okay for now

as I pretend

to be so into you

and tell myself

I'm so faking you

when really this fire is deep

and I feel what I feel

but I feel what I think

and I think what I think

but I think what I feel

you

you lay in pure

and unadulterated

ecstacy

feeling only what

I make you feel

and only this

nothing more

just pure bliss

and it hurts me

elates me

to know that I have this power

over me

over you

over such passion

that is real for you

but not for me

oh will you forgive me

if tomorrow, my caress

is fleeting

and hesitant

will he forgive me

that my caresses to you

have not been

so fleeting

and hesitant

I do not know

I do not understand

I feel

I think

I hurt

you

myself

I am sorry