I have discovered something

of great importance

about us

about you

about me

those nights of secret

throes of passion

whispered words

and sweet caress

they are not for me

as they are for you

you say that I am in your heart

and you do not care that you are

not in mine

but you do care

or you will

and because of this

I know

that I cannot kiss you

and not lead you on

lead your heart on

and so

I find myself

growing disgusted

with every kiss

but this disgust does not lie with you

but with myself

and with each kiss

I feel as if I am tainting you

tainting everything good

you have

tainting everything good

I had

so I cannot bear our lips to meet

as such an act just

might kill me

smothered

and broken

because you see

your lips

though perfect and sweet

are not his

and his

are the only lips

my soul truly crave

you my friend

are just a slight fix

before I get my true high

you are the morphine given

to the crack addicts

in hopes of breaking their

need

but my addiction

will not

switch to you

my attention

will not

switch to you

my heart

will not

switch to you

and so, here we are

at a crossing

but perhaps

it is only me

standing here at this

fork in the road

and only I have the decision to make

so I am sorry

but please

don't kiss me