MODERN DAY SAINT

Barefoot and naked,

I come to you.

I fear that my faith has lost it's face,

for it can no longer comfort in the color blue.

I'm wrapped up in ribbons, though,

I'm still and torn.

I'm not Ursula,

nor the cherries,

pitted virgin-born.

Those letters you wrote,

well,

I read them twice,

and I'll tell you,

I know not what to believe in-

social clatter,

religous matter,

burnt against the doctrine,

Don't you feel your fighting with the mirror everyday?

I ask you this as I check for lines on my face.

Red rubies

Red roses

out weighs the cross.

"Are your shoulders bare?"

You say,

"It's time to decide."

and my heart shatters to the breaking point.

I try and run from you,

but still I can hear you call my name,

and there is so many things I want to say.....

but this paper surrounds my mouth

as I inhale and exhale out.

St. Jerome,

Could I hide in the folds of your indigo robe?

Only then,

do I feel I could hold back the innocence,

the verbal liquid from my youth.

It still flows from my head at an unstable point,

but its the origin that has been struck dead.

I'm just wishing for a peek into my own crystal ball,

because these visions I profess are just delirium- induced,

after all.

Dear Augustine,

please resue me.

It's possible there's a martyr in the server in my cup of tea.

He says,

"I'm not what you need."

So I ran to the alter and laid down with the lion,

poured out my soul,

so he could watch me bleed.

And I reply,

"Is this what I need?"

He overturns his paw to reveal a thorn,

"Pluck it out, Babe, it can do no harm?"

I am only a shadow,

I am not a saint.

I am not Teresa of Avila,

nor Matilda,

not Lucy,

I could never be-

when I go to sleep-

I only dream.

Although, I do see,

in the distance,

that the land is divided,

along the skyline,

part apple, part seed.

And I often wonder in the silence,

around twilight,

what kind of woman I'd be?

Just bring your heart to me-

I'd love to see

if it beats peacefully,

if it breaks easily,

if it has lost its way from what it needs- like me.