In my dreams

I call you

You answer

You are happy to hear my voice

I am happy to hear your voice

-Not happy at first, and annoyed 5 minutes into the conversation-

I can picture your smile

I can picture your apartment

I can recall the smell of your hair

The size of your clothes

I imagine that you are wearing that brown shirt you always wear

In my dreams

I say I'd love to see you

-not that I grudgingly say, i suppose you can come over-

you say you'd love to see me, too

-not evasively say, another day-

and we make plans

I drive to your place

I hug you once the doors open

you enjoy my hug

you miss my hug

-instead of wishing I'd let go-

you miss me

-not over me-

you hold on too long

I hold on too long

We'd look at each other

And just know

Things are the same

After a long absence

We wouldn't have to explain

We could just sit on the couch and laugh and laugh

And just know

And not have to explain

-not let go of each other awkwardly,

sit on your couch too far apart

struggle for words

evade the subject

until I come out

and ask

is it true?

And you try to lie and avoid admitting the painful

Ugly

Clumsy

Truth

And I don't believe you

And I wish I could

Cuz I wish things could be the way they were

But you don't

You have long forgotten me-

In my dreams

Our love is real

Substantial

Not confusing

A smooth car ride and not a jerky one

A blue sky and not a thunderstorm

Getting the key in the lock the first time and not dropping the keys in the snow and having to dig them out and getting cold fingers in the process

This love would not be such a damn pain in the ass

It would be more like a dream