Everybody's Free (To Drink Water)

Adapted from Baz Luhrman

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2005,

Drink water.

If I could offer you just one tip for the future, drink water would be it. Both the long and short term benefits of drinking water have been scientifically proven, while the rest of my ramblings are simply that of my own short lived experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy each day and live to your fullest potential.

Oh, nevermind; you will not understand how much potential you really possess until it is here and gone. For no one is appreciative of what they have until it is gone, but trust me, in 20 years you will look back and realize just how much opportunity really had presented itself and exactly what you could have done with your lives. You are not as useless as you imagine.

Do not stress too much about life; or stress but know that stressing is as effective at solving problems and making life easier by shooting yourself in the foot. The things you should really stress about will come and go as quickly as a tornado, and hopefully will not cause as much damage.

Hunt for adrenaline.


Don't irritate those around you, and don't put up with people who irritate you.


Don't waste your time on attitudes. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Karma is there and when it's all said and done your actions will be reflected 3 fold.

Remember the good times.

Forget the bad ones.

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep Christmas cards you receive.

Throw away old Lone Rejections.


Don't feel guilty if you don't have as much money as you thought you would. The most interesting people I know come from some of the poorest back grounds I have seen. While some of the most intelligently interesting people I know earned all they own.

Get plenty of rest. Be kind to your brain cells, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll be rich, maybe you won't

Maybe you'll have four children, maybe you won't

Maybe a seventeen year old will mistake you for a class mate, maybe you will be the cool parent that all of the kids talk about constantly.

Whatever you do, don't be too quiet. But don't put your foot in your mouth either. Your choices are yours and yours alone.

Enjoy your mind. Always think and wonder, just don't wander too far you might get lost. Don't be afraid to lose every once in a while. If you can get an equal balance of wins and losses you will become a well rounded person.


Even if you have no where to go but your own block, you will see some interesting things along the way

Read everything you see, even if you don't get it, you will later.

Do not go on a diet. They will make you crazy and make you want to eat more out of depression.

Get to know your educators. You never know when you will need some professional help. Be nice to your employers. Sucking up can help, as long as you don't brown nose, if they like you so will everyone else.

Understand that life isn't fair, but if you don't complain and can get things done then it doesn't matter. Work hard to be fair to yourself and toward others, because you will never know when that Karma thing strikes…good or bad.

Live each day to the fullest, but be mind full of your limitations. Live to have a little too much fun, but try to include others too.


Accept fate as it is.

People will lie

Life will kick you when you are down

You too will mess up

And when you do you will try everything in your power to make yourself look better. May the Karma be good for you

Respect yourself.

Don't expect everyone to love you.

Maybe someone just doesn't like you.

Maybe you play on a pet peeve of theirs

But you never know when you will meet another you.

Don't mess too much with your eyebrows, or by the time you are 50 they will cover your face.

Be careful not to hate, but be patient with those who do.

Advice is above all priceless.

Dispensing it is someone doing the best that they can to help you from their own personal experiences in an attempt to better themselves as well as you.

But trust me on the water.