(what my heart would see in the looking glass)

This is where I found myself-

by the banks of a melody like

a river, in the deepest pools of emotions

that can't be bound by words. In a way, I am this

river, and I flow through time and wear away the landscape

with my life. In a way, this river runs through me, and

it gives me life. I cannot exist without emotion.

I sat by the edge and drank in a symphony perfectly

my own,

an adagio at forte,

a waltz, at pianissimo,

a fragile, simple joy going on and on---

a solo in a minor key.

Perfectly my own, and I gave my heart to it, my hands to it,

Clumsily trying to play the river's song, to go where

it could lead me.


This is where I learned patience.

My awkward grip could only hope to capture

a simple outline of my complexity,

a black and white rendition where I longed to

paint a rainbow with my six strings and lacquered wood.

Soon, soon, the emotions travel through my fingers, but

they are broken and

rearranged, and I am blind and helpless. The lesson is

to know each fragment, each jagged edge,

to live



and finally know where each belongs.



This is where I wrote a song like

Heartache. I sat with my back to the setting sun

and the midnight moon was all I knew, and it shone

on my face as I sat curled around my solace, whose shape

was made to fit entwined with mine (or maybe mine to it)

the only love that never leaves- my melody. It has

no hands but soothes my tired heart with a light caress of

harmony, a deep and distant melody,

saving me from drowning in the ache of living.

It has no ears, but listens as I pour my tears into

a song that feels like it may break me. A melody grows and

I grow stronger.



This is where I sang in

Contentedness. Beauty and waterfalls all around me

amazed me, inspired a smile that

couldn't be contained, and a peace that couldn't be defined.

A song began in my heart and poured through me like

a river. I ran to tell the midnight sky, and finding only the sun

rising, I warmed my hands, and let life rush into them.

A tune rose in me until I was flying

with it, and it revealed a world whose splendor I could not describe,

a world I had known all along, but never seen. Then I sat,

near the river, with my companion-

a six stringed rainbow,

a sunset lacquer with a midnight finish,

soft curves fit only to my shape,

a song that I perfect, because

it is me.



I peered into the river, the deepest pools of emotions that

can't be bound by words, and

I saw myself- shadow and light,

A song and a broken heart,

A melody and a sigh of peace,

A guitar and hope, and

I have played ever since.