Further back that fateful morning
I was up before Sara and had the camp packed. I had the energy of 100 men, and god only knows why. We had spent all night and the early hours of the morning satisfying each other's hunger. We loved and fucked all night. A smiled appeared on my lips in reminance and just when I thought I had no more to give, she manage to get it, even when I begged against she would succeed. The woman has finally brought out in me something I now have to leave behind. We agreed to leave all our guilt, regrets and the pleasures we had achieve behind on the island, it also meant my passions, desire …and then I bowed my head, …..love. I wanted to go back into the tent, shake Sara and convince her to stay, forget our life and stay on this island. I splashed some water on my face, looked out to sea and made my decision.
Sara rises from the tent with a yawn. "Good morning sleepy head" I said "Finally decided to face the day." And laughed at the state she looked.
"Well if you hadn't kept me up half the night with your yelling and screaming….and well do I need to go on." Joked Sara
I laughed "well at least the wild neighbours got some entertainment I bet." And we laughed.
Sara yawns again and walks over to the boat. "Its pretty much packed, how early were you up."
I smiled and kissed her passionately on the lips. "Early enough, plus your snoring was getting to me." Sara punches me in the arm.
"Ouch now that's abuse, you better stop that." Playing with her
"Or what." Challenging me.
"Or I'll pick you up and." I scoop Sara up into my arms and ran toward the cold sea.
"No Noooo, don't, put me down." And I pretended to throw her, but kept my hold. I put her back on the shore and she was about to punch me again
"Oi think very serious about what you are going to do here missy, because there will be tears and they won't be mine." Sara heeds my warning and lowers her fist.
"Come on lets eat before we go Kasey, I'm starved"
I continued to make sure everything was set for the journey home. I then waited until Sara had finished her breakfast before our little talk.
"Sara remember you said that what happens on the island, stays on the island, we leave it here.
"Yeh that's right."
"Well Sara I don't think I can, not now…"
Sara interrupted, "but we agreed Kasey, I can't take this back with me, it would destroy my relationship and yours." Sara voice started to quiver in panic.
"I know that but I never anticipated falling in love with you." I can see Sara getting angry and scared.
"So a couple of quick fucks and you think you're in love." Her words stinging me, and instantly Sara regretted what she said. "I'm so sorry Kasey I shouldn't have said that." And raced over to me.
I stepped away hurt, "Is that what you think." Anger building in my voice.
"No, I don't even know why I said it, I was just shocked at what you said. Kasey I can't do it, I just can't, I still love my partner and if there was any other way. We leave it on the island and that's all there is too it."
"Sara listen to me I know we agreed but you can't honestly think you can just discard feelings and emotions. This will be with me and you." But Sara cut me off
"Kasey don't persist, we leave the island with nothing there is no other way I can't give you what you want…… I'm sorry." Sara turns away
Then I dropped the bombshell. "To leave behind everything on this island is to leave me behind as well."
Sara faces me and shakes her head. "What are you saying Kasey?"
"I can't leave behind what I feel, but I can cast what I love into the sea."
"You're talking crap now Kasey, stop it." Sara storms down the beach to get the rest of her things. She soon returns, "Well I think that's everything."
I take Sara's hand. "I'm not going with you, I can't leave here." I said softly
"You can't be serious enough to want to stay here, can you." She looks into my eyes. "Bloody hell you are serious, don't do this Kasey, I don't want to leave you behind."
I reminded her again "We did agree to leave behind anything between us on the island, and for you to achieve this peace of mind you have to leave here without me. Now go and don't look back."
Sara lunges at me screaming "NO, NO you can't, I won't let you,"
I hold her close, I can hear her sobbing, I kiss her head "Shhh, I will be fine, its what I want really. I love this place. Who knows some other woman might come along and get stranded with me and the cycle begins again." I laughed half heartly
Sara steps back, her eyes red. "I don't want to leave without you." She cries again. Her pain brings tears to my eyes, but I fight them back. I had to convince her this was the right thing, even if I wasn't sure of it myself. I just know I couldn't go back and pretend my feelings for her don't exist.
"Hey you can always come and visit me I'll wait." And give her another hug. "Sara you need to go now, the weather is right and anyway if you stay any longer I might just enslave you here." I hug her one last time and kiss her lightly on the lips and then finishing on her forehead to signal the end of our time. I push her boat out and she jumps aboard.
"I'll come and see you, I promise." Yells Sara. But deep down I knew I would never see her again.
I sit on the beach watching her sail away, the first tear drops, followed by another, then another until I was sobbing. I cried for as long as I could see her boat, and then she was gone.
Goodbye Sara, I love you.