Shojogurl: Hi everyone! This is the prologue I'm writing for my story entitled "The Saddest Thing." I'm writing this in the middle of writing chapter 1. I know, I know 'Why didn't you write it before?' Answer: I didn't think of it until now. (Slow, I know, but I'm allowed to be slow, I'm the author.) This chapter will take place in a bunch of different times. Some are in years long past and others are recently past. I'll get on with it. There will be 12 chapters, and an Epilogue and this prologue. You'll see the rest next chapter.

NOTE: If you see an asterick () then that means the translation will be at the bottom. (Mostly in the third paragraph.)


January 1, 2000

Jerek stood still beside a doctor. It was Dr. Kiles. They were both dressed in black It was sunny and bright, not the type of weather you'd expect for a funeral. After the coffin his father was in was put in the ground, Jerek walked over to the grave beside it. It was his mother's. And beside that grave was his sister's. His mother died four years ago in labor with his sister who died as a still baby. His father died a week ago. He killed himself. It was because of him, Jerek knew it. He was smart for a six-year-old. His father died because he knew that the only other family he had would die in a few years too. Jerek had cancer. It was deadly. The doctors said it wasn't even as big as his pinky toe, but it was connected to an important organ, and if they removed it, he would die. Jerek thought of his mother. She was always smiling. She even smiled when she died. She saw the baby and smiled. Then she fell asleep and died. He had seen his sister briefly after the birth. She had obviously been smiling as she died too. Because when the doctors came out, they frowned, but she was smiling. It was death smiling. Even nature was laughing at him. The sun was laughing. The winter birds were chirping happily. The grass was an unusual green for the month. He hated it. He hated the cold that was everywhere. The death in the air. He looked around the graveyard. It was his family's. They were rich and powerful. The hospital bills would be paid by the money left to him by his father's hurriedly written will. When he died, whatever was left of it would be split among miscellaneous charities and orphanages. Jerek walked among the graves. He passed his grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and even dogs and cats. This is where he would be buried. He went to where his mother was buried. He looked at the headstone. It wasn't grand, just a normal rounded stone. He read the inscription. "An angel…sm-smiling in d-death." He was a very good reader for his age. He went to his sister's. It had a small angel on the top of hers. His father's was a plain square headstone. It only had his name, DOB and DOD. Jerek turned his back on the three graves. He followed the doctor to the exit. He reached the brass gates and closed it. 'I hate you, father, I hate you all. I hate little sister for killing mother. I hate mother for leaving. But I especially hate father for leaving me alone.' He thought. He turned. It seemed to Jerek that death and loneliness wanted to be his friends. He could agree to that. He'd have to accept death sometime soon. And loneliness is one step before death. In order to accept death, he had to accept loneliness. But first, he had to say 'goodbye' to his old life. His house, his yard, his school, even the sunlight. He'd close himself off from everyone. He wouldn't let anyone get close. At least for the next five years…

February 14, 1994

Ceri was set in a basket by her birthmother. The teenager set the basket on the porch of the orphanage. She put the name tag around her daughter's wrist. Not very tight, but tight enough it would stay on. Staring at the sleeping child almost made her want to keep her, but she knew she couldn't. she felt a tear fall down her cheek. She took her necklace off and set it in her daughter's basket. It was a small locket she had that had Ceri's name carved in it. She was going to keep her, but the circumstances changed. The father found out. He said he'd wanted her to have an abortion. She told him she couldn't do it. Then they came to a compromise. She would put her in an orphanage. If she wasn't adopted by the time they could afford to take care of a child, they would take her back. The locket had a picture of her and her boyfriend. She set the envelope in the basket. It had a letter to Ceri in it. If for some reason they couldn't claim her, she was to get the note. She kissed Ceri's forehead and smiled sadly. She knocked on the door and ran into some bushes near-by. She watched as a woman came out and looked around. She looked down at the baby and smiled She examined the tag and the envelope. She finally took the baby inside. The woman smiled. 'Now she'll be safe.' She thought. She walked across the street and around the corner. She was relieved. She waited at the next corner for her boyfriend to pick her up. He was supposed to be there waiting for her. She sat down on the bench and waited. After half an hour she saw a cars headlights coming toward her. She stood up. She squinted to see if it was her boyfriend's car. They had their brights on; shining right in her eyes. She was blinded. The next thing she knew she was laying on the ground. She felt the blood trickling from her head. She couldn't move. She felt paralyzed. She felt warmth near her body. The warmth soon turned to heat. The heat soon turned to a burning sensation on her finger tip. She opened her eyes slightly. She saw the light pole in flames. The truck had evidently tried to miss her. The mirror had hit her and she fell and hit her head on the bench. Because it missed her, the truck had hit the pole. The whole thing went up in flames. The fire was getting closer. She felt it nip at her fingers and burn her. She could feel her body, but she couldn't move it. The flames burned her arm. She was still alive. But barely. 'Is this what hell feels like? If it is, I don't want to feel this again. I know I've doubted you before, God, But I believe. Grant me this one wish, let me daughter find a mother who will teach her about you. Let her be able to know you. Please, God, let her be happy.' She smiled as she felt a burden lift off of her. She smiled as her body went numb. "Ceri…" She said her dying words…

March 20, 2003

A Japanese woman lay in a hospital bed. The doctor came in. "Hello Mrs. Seiko. Are you ready to push?" He said slowly, so she would understand. The woman nodded in response. The nurses came in and set her up. The woman pushed her baby out and the nurses took her. The woman knew that if she saw the baby she would change her mind. She had to give the baby up so her husband wouldn't hurt it. Luckily he had been gone the whole five months you could tell she was pregnant. The doctors came in to talk to her and so she could finalized the papers. The doctors told her where to sign and she signed. As soon as she was cleaned up and rested, she could go home. The doctors came in. "Mrs. Seiko, we have some news you might want to hear." She sat down. "Your daughter has a disease. She needs bone marrow. We want to run a test to see if yours could be a match." She nodded. Even if she wasn't going to keep her, she wanted the baby to be healthy. After another hour the doctors came back with the results. "I'm sorry Ma'am. You're not a match." The woman frowned. 'Pua ji.' She thought. She walked out of the hospital and went home. She saw her husband sitting in the arm chair when she walked in the door. "Doko ayabumu anta shimotaya?" He asked. "Auto." She replied curtly. He was drunk. She knew it. "Abbeku mikaeru man!" He shouted at her. He threw his cup of sake at her. She ducked. "Ite!" She screamed back. "Hai!" He took her by her wrist and beat her. After about an hour and a half. He finished. "Subeta." He walked away. Out of the house and, she hoped, out of her life. She crawled to the bathroom and nursed her wounds. "Itsuka gusei iyoku riibu anohito onore." She swore. She put a band-aid over a cut and cleaned the floor of any trace of blood. She called up the hospital. "Hello, this is the pregnancy center how may I help you?" It took her a while to understand what the woman said. She wasn't the best at English but it would suffice. "Hello, may I speak to Dr. Kasey?" She said slowly. The woman put him on the phone. "Hello?" He asked. "Doctor, this is Mrs. Seiko. I want to name my daughter Yayoi." She told him. "Okay. Yayoi seems like a very pretty name. Could you spell that for me?" She tried to remember her romanji so she could spell the name. "Y-a-y-o-i." She told him. He smiled. "Yayoi it is then. Just so you know, we're looking for bone marrow donors for her." He told her. "What does she look like?" She asked. "She has black hair, blue-green eyes. And a bright smile." After she hung up the phone, her husband came back. "Dochitsu arutoki anohito? Arutoki anohito geboku mabu? Itto arutoki. Subeta!" He began beating her. And he didn't stop until she was dead. As she was dying he heard her whisper one word. "Yayoi…"

April 30, 2004

Abril stood with her boyfriend at the party. She saw other couples making out in the corners. Most of them were older kids. It was her boyfriend's friend's party. That the only way she got in. He was a Junior and she was a sophomore. "Want some punch?" He asked. She smiled and nodded. He came back not long after with two beers in his hands. She opened it and drank it quickly, not wanting to taste the liquid. She only drank it when he offered it to her. She really didn't like it but she would drink it since she was sure that he would dump her if she didn't. She had been at the party for about two hours it was only eleven-thirty. They sat down on the couch and started to kiss. It was soft at first then got rougher. He pulled away. "Come on. I know somewhere we can go." He led her to a bedroom. Abril sat on the bed. He sat beside her and they started kissing again. "I want to be with you, Abril." He said then started to French kiss her. She felt his tongue in her mouth and she clenched his hair. She felt the heat rise. He started nibbling at her bottom lip. She felt him pull away. They stared in each other's eyes. She could read his expression. He wanted her. He ran his hands along her curves and stopped at her hips. She leaned back and they fell on the bed. He rolled off of her and laid there. He played with her hair. They never once looked away. "Are you ready?" She looked at him. "I don't know. I could, but I'm not sure if I'm ready." She looked away. "You do almost everything else I ask you to do. Why not this?" She closed her eyes for a second. "This is different. This is big. Bigger than all the other stuff." She sat up on the bed. He sat behind her and massaged her back. "Give me some more time." He stopped. "How much time?" He asked. "Three months. If I'm not ready then. I never will be." He smiled. "Okay. Three months." She turned around and smiled. She loved him. And he loved her. They went back to the party. If this is what love felt like, she knew she wouldn't mind giving her fully to him. But she would make sure in three months. It was two in the morning before she got home. Her parents were there waiting. "Abril! Where have you been! We've been worried sick!" Her mother screamed. "Don't worry, Mom! I'm f-uuuurrrrrrl!" She said as she vomited on the carpet. Her parents quickly parked her by the toilet. They waited until the next morning to scold her. "Mom! I love him! And he loves me! You are not going to ruin my life because you have a problem with him!" Abril stormed out the door. Her mother watched out the window as Abril got in her boyfriends car and he drove off. "Oh Abril. Are you sure it's love? Just because he can give you everything doesn't mean it's love. Lust and love are often confused. Can you tell the difference? John, go after her!" She heard a 'no' and continued to stare out the window. 'Be careful… Abril…"

May 15, 2001

Mayu sat at the table, doing her math homework. Her mother came in the kitchen. "Hello, Sweetie. Are you almost done?" She asked handing her a cookie. "Almost, I can't get past this one problem though." Her mother leaned over to try and help. Her mother explained it to her and soon she figured it out. She finished about half an hour later. Not long after her dad got home. "Hi, Daddy!" She ran up to him. "Hey, Mayu. How was your day?" He asked as he sat down in his chair. "It was good! We had a substitute teacher for science. She was nice. Then it was our teacher's birthday so she brought us a cake. It was almost finished because we were her last class." She told him. She continued on a little and summed up her day. "Mayu! Can you help me cook dinner, please?" Her mother called from the kitchen. She helped her mom and went back to the living room to ask her dad what he wanted to drink. "Hey, daddy?" She called. "What do you want for your-" She stopped. She saw him sleeping in his arm chair. She smiled a devilish smile. She slowly tip-toed over and bent by his chair. She jumped on his lap and smiled. "Daddy!" She squealed as he started to tickle her. Mayu's mother walked out and saw them. "Mayu," She said. They stopped. "Could you go back in the kitchen so me and your father can talk about adult things?" Mayu knew what that meant. They were going to yell. "What do you want me to do?" She asked. "Could you peel six potatoes for the mashed potatoes?" Mayu nodded and walked out of the room. She took a bowl from the cabinet and put it on one side of the sink. Then she took the trash can and put it on the other side. She sat on the counter top and peeled the potatoes. Then she washed them, and put them in the bowl. But, through it all, she could still hear her parents yelling. She put the knife down and washed another potato. She picked up another potato. She heard their yells get louder. She continued peeling and tried to listen to their conversation at the same time. "Ow!" she cried out in surprise and pain. She saw the cut on her arm and the blood coming from it. She put the potato down and washed the blood off. She reached up in the cabinet and found a band-aid. She put it on the best she could, considering where it was, and continued with the potatoes. She then realized something. She forgot all about her parents' yelling. 'Maybe getting hurt isn't so bad.' She thought and cut the potatoes some more. After they finally quit yelling, they all sat down and ate. But unluckily for Mayu, the same thing happened the next night. Mayu took out one of her mom's sharp knives and pressed it lightly to her arm. She kept the pressure until she saw blood, then she nursed it back to health. Even though it attracted attention from the other kids, and teachers, to Mayu, cutting herself was worth the temporary relief she felt from her parents' arguing…

June 17, 1999

Juin dropped his book bag out side his window. He quietly crawled out and shut the window. He sneaked around the house and sat down under the oak tree. He looked in his book bag and made sure everything was in it. 'Flashlight, batteries, blanket, clothes, food, money, band-aids, a map, and bug repellant. Good everything.' He smiled. He was going to make his way to the orphanage in town a few miles. The flashlight was for night time travel, the batteries were in case the other ones died, the blanket was so he could stay warm, clothes, and food, were for obvious reasons, Money was in case he ran out of food. Band-aids, a map, and bug repellant, were also for obvious reasons. He wasn't going to stay in a house where he wasn't wanted and where he had to clean up vomit all the time because his mom was too drunk to care. His father walked out on them so he was of no use. So he turned to the authorities but his mom lied. He had no one left to turn to. So he would just leave. If no one was going to help, he would leave. Simple as that. As soon as he got to the orphanage, he would tell them his mother was an unfit parent and they'd let him stay there until two nice loving people came to adopt him. That's the way it always happened. Right? He was already halfway down the street when a cop car came by. "Hello, Son. Shouldn't you be at home? It's ten o'clock." Asked the police officer. "No, Sir. I'm running away." The cop stopped a minute and continued his interrogation. "Well, where are you going?" Juin looked at him. "The orphanage in the city." He answered. "Oh. Why are you going there? It's a little far isn't it?" He asked. "Because I want different parents, and when you're at an orphanage different parents come and take you to there home so that you can be theirs." The police man scratched his head. It doesn't always work that way. Here let me give you a ride. Where do you live?" The man smiled. "3451 Wilshire Lane." Juin told the man. It was nice of him to give him a ride to the orphanage. They talked a while and then the car stopped. "Are we there? Are we at the orphanage?" Juin said excitedly. Then he looked around. "Come on, Son. I'm taking you home." Juin tried to get away, but the man was too strong. He rang the doorbell and Juin's mother made an astonishing appearance. "O officer, where did you find him! I looked in all of his favorite hiding spots and I couldn't find him anywhere!" She said fake sweetness dripping in every word." The officer finally left and she turned back into her venomous self. "You're lucky I didn't find you first!" She said and hit him. You do that again and it will be a hundred times worse than that!" she spat at him. He went back to his room. The window was locked. He knew she would keep that promise, but that didn't matter, he would keep trying until he could try no more…

July 21, 2000

Bay stood by his friends at the gate. One of his friends was waiting for someone. It was getting darker and Bay was starting to wonder why they weren't heading back. "Hey!" Bay heard a hushed whisper. He turned and saw a boy about eighteen. He was tall with black hair, slicked back with a lot of gel. Bay saw his friend turn to the older boy. "You got cash?" He heard him ask. The younger boy nodded. Bay saw them exchange the money for a bag. Bay's friend came back over to the other three boys. "Come on guys. I got somethin' good to show ya." He said. They walked off. Bay looked back at the older boy. He counted the money, and then slipped it into his pocket. He walked off and turned the corner. Bay's friend led them to his house and they went to the basement. "Michael, what did he give you?" Bay asked. Michael opened the bag and pulled out paper and a powder. "What's that?" One of the boys asked. "What's it look like, Daniel? It's crack." Bay stopped. "Crack? Michael, why are you doing crack?" Michael put some of the powder in the paper and rolled it. "It's good stuff, Bay." He rolled up a second joint. "You try." He handed him the joint. "If you don't want it then let me try." Daniel reached for the joint. "Got a lighter, Gael?" Gael nodded. Daniel lit the joint and took a smoke. "Hey! This ain't so bad." Daniel said taking another smoke. "Let me try!" Gael reached for it, and did the same as Daniel. "This is good! Come on, Bay, try some." Bay took the joint. He took a breath of it and smiled. 'They're right! It's not so bad after all.' He thought and took another puff. "Hey! Don't hog it! Let us have some more!" Daniel whined. "Don't worry boys. I've got more." He pulled out three more joints and they all took a puff. "Do you have anymore drugs?" Gael asked. "Nah. My brother gets the rest." He told them. "When did you start smoking crack?" Bay asked, taking another puff of his joint. "My brother sent me to get some of his crack from his provider. He gave me the money and told me where he would meet me. It was about three years ago. I went and he gave me a bag of crack. I didn't know what it was so I asked him. He told me to ask my brother. Well, my brother had been sleeping when I got back so I waited until morning. I peeked in his room and I saw him roll the joint. So that night I went in his room and rolled myself a joint. I did it night after night and about a week later, he caught me. He was drunk so he didn't care. I rolled him a joint too and we both smoked them. Then he told me if I wanted to smoke it I had to get the money for it." He stopped to take another smoke of the joint. "Is that why you did his chores?" Daniel asked. Michael nodded. "Blake told me he would let me have his chore money if I did them for him. He got a job to pay for his." Bay smiled. This was the life. Not a care in the world.

August 14, 1992

A woman waited in the delivery room to give birth to her son. The father had died not long ago and she had gotten re-married to her new husband only the month before. The doctor came in. "Ma'am, it's time to push." She said and they got ready. It took a while to get the baby out and it was a very painful birth. The doctor handed the boy to his mother. "What do you want his name to be?" The woman thought a while. "Austin…" She didn't get to finish the name because her heart rate started slowing. About an hour later the doctors came out to tell the bad news to the husband and sister. "I'm sorry. We couldn't save her." The doctor turned and left to leave them alone. The sister smiled. "Now we can be together and we won't have to hide anymore. We won't have to lie to her." The man smiled also. "We can be together now." A nurse came out. "Sir, Here's your son." She said and handed Austin to him. "Your wife wanted to name him Austin. In fact that was the last word she said." The nurse said trying to ease the pain of the couple. The husband frowned and took the boy. The nurse left. "Well. Too bad he didn't go with her." He said. "It's not even my child and I have to take care of it." He moaned. Austin started to cry. "Eh! Shut him up!" She told him. "How?" He asked. "I don't know. Give him a bottle or something!" The man found the pacifier and stuck it in the boy's mouth. "Let's just take him home." The woman suggested. They got into the car and put him in the car seat. "How do you work this thing?" She asked. "Let me do it." After about twenty minutes, they were finally able to get the child in the car seat. When they got home it took almost half an hour to try and get the car seat out of the car. They brought the baby inside and set him by the door. Austin started crying again. The woman lost her temper. "How do you shut this thing up! Where's the on/off switch?" She screamed. "It's a bay it doesn't have an on/off switch!" The man yelled back at her. "Get him a bottle!" The man fixed a bottle and gave it to the baby. Austin drank the bottle hungrily. When he finished he slowly drifted off to sleep. "Thank God!" The woman said softly so as not to make the noise-maker wake-up. The next few days were the same thing. "I'm getting so sick of this!" The woman screamed. "He won't sleep; His diapers are a thing that would make Hitler screams, and that screaming is driving me up a wall! We have to do something!" The woman told him. "Yes, I know, but what?" After a few seconds of thinking, they both figured it out. "A Nanny!" The woman looked in the phone book and the man called all the nannies. After a day and a half of searching, they finally found one that would stay nights. They fixed a spare room and put the baby monitor in it. When the nanny got there, they were ecstatic. They handed her the baby and she began to work…

September 21, 1996

Charlotte stood beside her father. It was a cool, windy day and it suited Charlotte's mood. It was her sister's funeral. She died in a car accident a month ago and Charlotte had changed drastically since then. She used to be social and happy. Now she kept to herself and almost never talked. It was such a drastic change. Charlotte felt the soft autumn wind blow her hair across her face. She was glad it did and she let a tear escape her eye. She didn't want to show emotion. Emotion was for the weak. She was tired of crying. Tired of death. First her brother, and now her sister. Her brother died in a similar way. A drunk driver hit his car and he died in the intensive care unit four days after. Her sister died on impact. The driver of the other car had run a red light and hit her head-on. Charlotte's sister had loved life and lived hers to the fullest. But she never got her chance at what she wanted, what they wanted. Charlotte and her sister had wanted to be writers, and speak about drunk driving and teen violence. Her sister was the one who thought of it. Charlotte didn't know all of what she talked about, but what she did know, was that everything revolved around the fact their brother died. He had been seventeen. That had been three years ago. She couldn't remember much of him. The memories were fading. But she remembered the way he smelled, the way he laughed, and most importantly, the way he cared about her. She was his little sister. To older brothers' their sister's are a pain, but she wasn't. He always spoiled her, but not in a bad way. It was the same way with her sister. She had always treated her like an equal instead of like a little kid. But now, they were both gone. And she was an only child. 'I'm never going to care for anyone again.' She thought turning her back on the grave. 'That way, when someone dies, I won't hurt. And when I die, no one else will hurt either.' She walked to the car and waited for her parents to come. They walked slowly, heads down. Her mother was crying, and her father was trying his best to comfort her. Charlotte was their only hope. They were going to push her into things. They were going to make sure nothing would happen to her. If anything did, they wouldn't know what to do. Her parents slowly got into the car. Charlotte heard her soft sobs from the backseat. Her father started the car and they left the cemetery. Charlotte never wanted to return. Too many memories would be stirred up, and she knew, no matter the circumstance, if she went back to that grave, she wouldn't be able to control her emotions then. They drove on in silence. Charlotte went directly into her room and cried silently to herself. She laid there for an hour before she got up. She quietly walked to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She put on a cold expression that hid her emotions for nine years…

October 15, 1998

Melor stood by his grandmother as the cops took his dad away. He was charged with murder. He killed his wife. Melor hated his father. His mother was the only person who really understood him. His father had always beaten her. And when he tried to hurt Melor, his mom stood in the way and took every blow for him. Melor saw everything his dad did. Even the murder of his mom. It had been the month before. His dad got really mad at him, but his mom took the most beating. He had called her mean names and beat her until she was a cold lifeless pile on the floor. Blood rushed from her body and Melor ran to his grandmother's house almost two miles away. He told her the story and she believed him. She told the police and they put him on trial for it. He was found guilty. Melor watched as the cop car drove away "I hate you!" He screamed as loud as his little lungs could. Melor got in the car with his grandmother and they drove to her home. When they got there, Melor took his suitcase to the spare bedroom and unpacked. He took out a picture. In it were his mom and himself. They were at the beach. It had been taken a few years ago when they were on vacation. A tear escaped his eye and he wiped it away. "Crying is for the weak." He said to himself. He put the picture on the nightstand. He took out his clothes and put them in the closet. He took his toys and put them in the chest. He put his books on the shelf. He put what couldn't be put in the closet, in the dresser. He took a few more pictures out and put them on the dresser. One was his mom. He had taken it when he first learned how to use a camera. She had turned around and smiled. When she did, the wind picked up and blew her hair, her hat, and her sundress. She was so pretty. But then his father had to kill her. Melor knew that she had a serious problem. It wasn't just the beatings. She had been bleeding on the inside. That was why it didn't take long for him to beat her to death. The other picture was of his mom on her last birthday. She had been so happy. He had taken her picture after she blew out the candles. He smiled. His mom always smiled despite the fact of what was going on behind closed doors. He felt himself shudder. 'I won't cry only babies cry.' He thought. His mother always said something back to those comments so that he would realize he could cry if he wanted to. If he said "Crying is for babies." She would stubbornly say "But you're my baby." Or if he said. "Crying is for the weak." She would say "It's okay to be weak sometimes." She had always known the right thing to say. No matter the situation. A thought ran through his head. He would never hear her laugh, see her smile, or be comforted by her voice, ever again. That was enough to make him hit his knees and cry. He wouldn't cry another tear for seven years…

November 14, 2002

Autumn stood in front of the mirror. 'I need to lose weight.' She thought. She stood on the scale and was shocked at her weight. 'What! I can't weigh that much!" eighty-eight pounds. 'I'm going on a diet.' She thought. 'I'm not going to eat any junk food or foods high in fat.' She decided with a grin. She went to her room and flipped through a magazine. 'Oh my god! That model is so skinny! I wish I was that pretty.' She flipped another few pages. There was an article on Bulimia. It told about how girls would eat and then vomit the food back up so as not to gain any weight. She then read that some of the girls were also anorexic, which meant they didn't eat much, and some didn't eat at all. Some of the bulimic girls would Binge eat and then vomit it back up. 'I would never do that to myself.' She thought. Her mom called her. She went downstairs. "What is it, Mama?" She asked her mother was washing clothes. "Take these into your room and fold them please." Autumn nodded. She picked up the basket and brought it to her room. She looked at the size on one of her shirts. A large. She grimaced. She was going to be small again. She would make sure of it. She put her clothes up and went downstairs. It was almost time for dinner. She set the table and not long after her dad came in and told her that dinner was ready. She went in and got a little portion of the lasagna on her plate. "Aren't you hungry, Autumn?" Her mother asked. "No." She replied simply. Her parents didn't pry. That's normally how it would always go. They would ask her a question, she would give a simple answer, and there wouldn't be anything else said on the subject. After dinner, Autumn went back to her bedroom. She wished she hadn't eaten the lasagna. A thought entered her mind. 'I may have eaten it, but I don't have to keep it…' She walked into her bathroom and put the toilet seat up. She started trying to gag her food up. She stuck her finger in her mouth and tried to get the food up. Eventually, it worked. She stopped when she felt the vile mixture of food and stomach acid, come up her throat. She looked into the toilet bowl. She saw her partially digested dinner. She flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth to get the taste out. She washed her hands in case any acid or food got on them. She walked back into her room. She looked into her full length mirror. She saw herself. She imagined herself as a skinny, beautiful teen. She still had a while before she turned into that girl, but she knew she could make it. She was only ten. She would work on it until she had the perfect body. That meant she would be skinnier than those models. She would be prettier. She knew she would get a lot of boyfriends that way. Once she was perfect. Just like her parents wanted her to be.

December 7, 2001

A woman sat in the labor room. It was time for her to push. The doctors came in and told her exactly what to do. But, there were complications. The doctors figured out what was wrong and they tried to fix it, but the baby came before they were ready. It was a boy. "What are you going to name him?" a nurse asked. The woman thought for a minute. "Noel." She told her. The nurse smiled. Noel was a quiet baby. He didn't cause any trouble. 'I wonder if I can take care of him.' She thought. The woman worked twelve hours a day for five dollars an hour. She could barely provide for herself. Could she really take care of a child too? She didn't live in the best part of town. And she didn't have the nicest house. Would he mind? The father left her when he found out she was pregnant. She looked down at her baby. He didn't look a thing like the father. He had brown hair, the father's was red. And he had hazel eyes, his father had green. He looked exactly like her. He opened his eyes. She felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. Those were the eyes she lived for. He smiled up at her. She smiled back at him. She felt tears form in her eyes. This baby almost didn't make it. Almost wasn't here. She remembered her last pregnancy. It had been a stillbirth. The woman never quite got over the loss of the little girl she might have had. But now she felt all her pain and suffering were for the best and it had all prepared her for this moment. Her baby boy. Her miracle. Her Noel. He was all she wanted for Christmas. All she wanted was for him to be happy. She nursed him and smiled. He was the best present she could ever have wished for. And More. He was her everything. She felt him look up at her and she stopped nursing him and burped him. ":Burp!" He burped. "Well that was a big burp for such a little thing!" She laughed. He smiled at her with a toothless grin. She laid him back down and he ate happily and contently. When he decided he was done he pulled off. He stared in her eyes. He grabbed her finger in his small, yet tight, fist. She smiled down at his small form. He was a small baby only weighing five pounds and four ounces and he was about sixteen inches long. But, what he lacked in stature he made up for in heart. All the doctors and staff loved him because of how calm he was. She loved him for just being there. For being hers. And for being alive. She knew the pain of losing a child. His father left because she wouldn't have an abortion. She didn't want to lose another child to death. She could tell behind that harmless exterior, was a fighter. She knew he would survive. She knew that when she was old and grey, he would take care of her. This baby would be her everything. Everything she loved. Everything she fought for. And everything that mattered. "My Noel." She whispered to him as he fell asleep in her arms…

Shojogurl: Okay, there's the prologue. Here are the translations from the third paragraph.


Pua ji- Poor Child

Doko Ayabumu Anta Shimotaya- Where Have You Been

Auto- Out

Abbeku Mikaeru Man- With Another Man

Ite- No

Hai- Yes

Sake- Beer, whiskey, alcoholic beverage

Subeta- Bitch

Itsuka Gusei Iyoku Riibu Anohito Onore- Someday I Will Leave That Bastard

Romanji- Japanese words spelled with the English alphabet

Dochitsu Arutoki Anohite- Who was that

Arutoki Anohita Geboku Mabu- Was That Your Lover

Itto Arutoki- It Was

Well that was all. See ya next chapter! R&R