Among the Glorious

The graceful people, they'll sit over there

With their grins and their horns both aglow

In the luminescent rays of victory

Where I worked so hard to sit this time around

Five chairs from the best, here I am

Wondering what exactly had happened

How could I neglect those bold accents and shy staccattos?

What happened to my confidence over this past week?

Why was I so worked up over it all in the first place?

They said I could, that I had potential

I practiced and pushed myself past my limits

Never breaking the rigorous work

Never backing down in my mind

I always told myself that if I really worked

Maybe, just maybe, I could do it

Get that glorious first chair

I'd been preparing for since this summer

My personal expectations were way up there

I spat on anything I played well

Because I yearned to be great

Not to prove it to the rest of the world

But to prove it to myself

Well, I guess I have my answer

To the question screaming in my mind

Why couldn't I play the perfect way

I had at home and school?

Never did I permit myself mental breaks

From the neverending frustration

Always did I push my tempos

Leaving behind my precise style

I guess my mind just grabbed onto each error

Every glitch in my awesome tone

And, finally, under the weight of expectation and nerves

My mind lost all musical perspective

And so, I can look at their music

Finger until my fingers go numb

But I won't be

Among the glorious