Metaphorical Death

I can't participate in Day of Silence

It gives me the wrong message

I never really needed that support

Dwindling under every fa├žade

Then again, who needs anything?

The world would be so much better

If people didn't ask for so much

Life

When your surroundings make you wish

You didn't have such

Liberty

The only freedom you don't have

Is the one that grants your

Happiness

I could be happy without my show

Or my friends

But I shouldn't have to be


You said everything would be all right

No matter what I decide

You lied

Everything is not all right

It goes beyond not watching Queer Eye

Because it promotes this wretched lifestyle

Or going to GSA with my friends

The only place I feel human

Or not dating until college

I'm emotionally immature

Or spending less time with my best friend

The only person I can talk to

Who sees through all your petty rules

It's about being treated like a failure

A drug-addict you "love anyway"

While trying to change every fiber

Of a being that has nothing to do with you


You taught me to tell the truth

I keep screaming for an answer

Why the fuck did you ask for something

You would spend your life using against me?

I guess I'll never be quite honest again

If that's what makes a good daughter

Thanks for showing me that honesty

Means you can't be yourself

Or befriend anyone who knows you

Beyond these shallow fantasies

Of who I am

I want to do everything in my power

Not to be controlled

I used to be such a good girl

It's still in there, slowly being crushed

You talk about failing me as parents

But this is your biggest mistake


You didn't make me gay

But you did make me resent

You make me dread every fucking day

Coming home to this

When I was finally honest with you

Metaphorically, I killed myself

And went to hell, reborn as someone you hate

Or love the way God loves sinners

You don't hate me

Just everything I feel, and believe

Even if you're completely right

I'll never be able to look you in the eye

And tell you how I feel

I'll never be able to restore that friendship

We've had for so long

And I'll never be able to bring my old self

Back to life


I can't participate in Day of Silence

Because silence is my life

I can't take one day out of the year

To support GLBT causes

Because you've chosen an alternative

To create that silence every day of my life

The silence is a snare that tears away at me

Teaches me to hate

Cursing everything that makes me real

So go ahead, and do the right thing

Discuss me "as parents" ought to

Ignore that I have problems far more serious

Than simply noticing girls

I won't participate in Day of Silence

Because that silence has become my life

Even if we have heart-to-hearts

Those are the last true words I'll say