If Only

If only I could make you see

You could be the one for me

But I can't

This unrequetted love lives on in fiction

Fantasy dispelling realtiy in a deadly game of hide-and-seek

Can't find you

For you do not exsist

Gave you my heart

A fictional love that can never be realized

Wasting countless hours lost in daydeam

Thinking of you and me

If it'd worked out - Would we still be together?

Would I have ended it by now?

If so....why cannot I end this by myself?

Trapped by your memory

Images of you spill forth

Like a disease, you plauge me

Everytime I think I'm over you

I'm not

You're still with me

Can't erase the memory

Willingly trapped

In a web of my own making

Starting to think less about you

Making fact into fiction

And irrationalizing the rest

Least if you are fictional

Then you don't really exist

And I can adjust it

Reality really does bite

You are real

And not with me

Couldn't foresee

On that Friday

What could've been

If I'd just spoken

Oh the things I would change

To go back in time

And be with you

Yet.....it wouldn't work

Cause I wouldn't have changed your mind

Silence killed it

I made sure it was dead

Lack of words

My only memory

Of what I didn't change

Now words are in abundance

For once, no longer at a loss

Searching, yes,

Unable to find the unattainable

And losing my sanity in the process....