Training

I look into the dark blue eyes,

waiting for something more.

I am not sure what is going to happen.

All seems lost.

I am supposed to be patient.

Yet, it is hard for me.

They say one day

My knight will come.

I won't have to put up with these jerks.

I am not sure.

Everyday the population gets smaller,

people hook up,

people turn to the same sex,

people become bitter and jerks.

Maybe in a way I am bitter too

I am not sure what to do.

All I know

is I am tired of mistakes,

crushes lingering,

burning,

aching,

till they finally fizzle out,

for some stupid reason.

I am tired of watching from afar.

But some are intimidated by me,

by something,

supposedly my intelligence,

but I am not smarter than they are,

I don't think.

I am not even that smart,

I can't figure how people can be intimidated by me.

The butterfly with the broken wings,

who seems to be crushed by many.

I stand across the room watching,

I am impatient.

I take a deep breath,

try to clear my mind.

I can be stable.

I can attract him.

I just need to learn to play the

game a little more.

Maybe if they are intimidated,

I need to really make them feel that way,

see if they can handle the true me.

If they want to.

The tiger lurking just below the surface,

that any second could strike.