to close to breath;
I wrapped myself up in love and liaisons
and waited for the warmth to find me.
This field is empty-
once so cluttered with my youth
once so managed
once when there was truth.
I want to stand here
at the edge
and watch the fireworks
over my head.
I want to stare out
"where are you?"
I want to run
into the crystal clear awareness
of time passing
and see you
staring me down from the other side.
I want arrows of love
to dismantle us where we stand
and linger across our single scarred forehead.
sinking into the earth after so much rain.
I can't count the tears that I've cried on a single hand
but I'll reach out
to watch you float ever higher above me.
invisible to all but myself
because I alone remember you here.
I alone can crawl back across time
safe and sound
into your arms.
I sang to the sky
and wished that the night would catch me
lift me off
into the moons frame of mind.
Everything is beautiful at night.
Lovely in shadow.
I wanted to show him how beautiful I could be;
how delicate my innocence truly was.
I want to fall
like a raindrop
between your lips
and smile at the stardust in your soul.
for I becoming your ellipsis
the after thought
a get-well-soon card
and a thirty second phone call.
Was I lost behind your lips now
I could have been so much more.
I felt the flame of anger
touch my hand
and I wanted your kiss on my cheek again.
I reached out
across this field
untouched sense last we laid here
and for a moment I thought that I saw him
in my mind to stay simple
before the complication set in.
Coffee in my wine.
I thought for a moment that I saw him
still gone was he
behind my hand
and just I
alone with the land.